Saturday, October 4, 2008

Yah Trick . . . Yah! (Politican Rant #2)

What has me in such a cantankerous mood that I'd quote that terrible Soulja Boy chorus, you ask?

"Say It Ain't So" Sarah!

I can't help but think that people inside the McCain camp are having some Homer Simpson moments!

Disclaimer:This is a rant. Love it or leave it. I am not a political analyst and I don't claim to know a whole lot about politics (I guess that's what me and SP have in common huh?). With that said, take nothing that you read in this post as "fact," other than the "fact" that it is my opinion. Want to know the facts? Research, like I did. My particular brand of humor and sarcasm may not be pleasing to everyone's pallette and that's okay-- I laugh at my own jokes, anyway. Enjoy!

McCain what were you thinking? I'll tell you what you were thinking . . . you saw a bunch of jaded Hillocrats running around trying to find somebody, hell anybody, to support instead of Obama and you decided to toss out some lipstick wearing bait to reel them in. You had them fooled at first, too! But you forgot that Sarah was going to have to open her mouth without a teleprompter in front of her. Well, I hope she gets regular pedicures because she's been tasting her toes ever since the RNC!

Did you think that the Hillocrats (read:Fanatic Hillary supporters. Friendly jibe, Scouts Honor!) were that stupid? Sen. Clinton and "Pitbull in Lipstick" Palin are nothing alike! Do you think all of these liberal Hillocrats were going to buy into Palin's conservatism? No one said it better than Amy Poehler as Hillary Clinton during one of the now infamous SNL skits!

Or better yet, did you think that women were stupid? You assumed that we'd vote for ya'll just because Sarah Palin is a woman? Why not pick a better woman for the job, if that was your aim? What about the other female governors? What about one of the women in the Senate? One of the women in the House of Representatives? What about Condeleeza Rice? (Well, I have a theory about why ya'll didn't tap Condi, but I'll save that for later). No, you picked Polar Bear Poachin' Palin, sight unseen, and it's just your luck that lemon laws don't cover political running mates. If you're going to be sexist atleast do it right!

All jokes aside, though, I am honestly offended by this. How dare you mar the history of women in the US by picking Piss Poor Palin? From this point on, no matter which way the election goes, she's going to be popping up in my children's history books as the first woman to be a vice presidential candidate for a major political party! As a woman, she embarasses me. That ol' "Don't mind me, I'm just a hockey mom . . . I don't know how you all work over there in Washington" routine is nothing short of being the "Damsel in Distress." Since when is it okay to not know anything? Since when is it a good debate tactic to avoid giving straight answers to questions during a debate (if you even answer at all)? Since when is it okay to shout out 3rd graders at a major political debate? Since when is it okay to be interviewed two respected journalists and not even be prepared with answers to simple, softball questions like "What newspapers and magazines do you read?" If she can't handle an interview, how is she going to handle meetings with foreign leaders? How do I trust the economy in her hands when she refers to the average american as Joe Six Pack? I'm sorry but she's going to need more than "folksy" sayings and rosey cheeks to get me to take anything she says seriously.

And since I mentioned the debate, let me say this. That thing was a masacre of epic proportions. Biden handled it like the skilled politician that he is. The winner was clear. Smokin Joe Biden was a clearly the victor! My favorite jab of the night? "Now That's What I call a bridge to nowhere."

I wonder if the folks in the media feel as ridiculous as they sound when they say that Palin won? lol. Sure, she did better than I expected but that's not saying much. I expected her to stare into the camera like a deer in headlights when asked to defend her positions but she didn't. Instead, she chose to ignore the debate all together and just read from her script just like her grandpa--oops, I mean McCain-- taught her. I wonder if they took her out to icecream when she was done? I think her performance was worth two scoops of sherbert!

Also, why is it okay for people to openly admit to supporting Palin because she is a woman, when if a black person even breathes the word Obama we're accused of only voting for him because he's black? There's black people out there right now that want to vote for Obama for sound reasons but won't because they're afraid of being labeled as an "Obamabot" that is voting based on color and not character. But, they can unapologetically target disgruntled Hillocrats and undecided women with their psuedo feminist Palin propganda and no one bats an eye? What gives?

The cout de grace for me, though, is how much everybody sqawked about Obama not being experienced enough yet they push this blaringly obvious inexperienced governor into the spotlight and call her a maverick! A MAVERICK? Give me a freakin break. If Obama acted the way that she does they'd laugh him out of town. Both parties would be screaming from the mountaintops that he needed to be pulled from the ticket.
But, no, Sweet Lil' Sarah is becoming the nation's sweetheart and they're letting her off easy . . . why? Because she's a woman. Yeah, I said it. If she was a man, they would never, in a million years, suggest that Biden use a soft approach with her during the debates. If she was a man, they would never have accepted her "folksy" quotes and winky wit. If Biden had ignored her like she had ignored Biden's brief emotional moment (as he recalled the accident that took his wife and daughter) he'd have a scarlet S (for sexist) on his chest right now . They're handling her with kid gloves because she is a woman. How patronizing and sexist of them!

Watching her is like watching a female soldier do "girl pushups"-- if you want to fight with boys then you need to flex like them, too!

Ok . . . i'm done . . . this concludes my second political rant. it really was fun . . . I laughed, I cried, I cranked that Soulja Boy on that [OH!] . . . lol.

Please keep your comments respectful. If your ideas differ from my own, that's fine. I welcome discussion and opposition.


  1. If McCain supporters support him regardless of whether they think Palin is a good VP or not, then they're clearly blind.

    To those people that like Palin, they're also the same ones that think being smart is stupid.

    To those that support McCain but don't like Palin because they're voting for the 'top of the ticket', doesn't it say alot about a man that would pick this person to be his VP? Between his statements that the 'fundamentals of the economy are sound', and his choosing a VP candidate that is nothing more than a barbie doll, what does that really say about his decision making and judgment skills?

  2. This election scares me - I'm not trying to disrespect other people's political beliefs in the least but I seriously don't understand how people can feel confident with Palin being VP. I can at least accept that some people have tremendous respect and faith in John McCain but I would like them to at least acknowledge that Palin is one of the most under qualified people ever to be on a ticket.


  3. You are SO right! I cannot believe these same people are willing to fall for the okey doke again. *smh*


  4. g-ma i couldnt have said it better myself.....that was the move was the most condescending i have ever seen in my is a damn shame that my kids will have to learn about her stupid ass in their history classes and possibly forced to write papers on her...i am sickened at the thought.


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