Love Survives, So We Can Rock Forever

And when the groove is dead and gone

you know that love survives

so we can rock forever!

-"Rock With You"

A Different B!

I must apologize for my absence . . . twitter and youtube have sucked me and unfortunately my blog has suffered, but no worries! I am here to say! Writing is my love, I'll never abandon my blog!

Anyway, I'm coming to you all today with an announcement . . . its pretty big . . . I've started a new journey . . . not hair . . . not makeup . . . not MFA . . .

WEIGHT LOSS

Yeah, that's right . . . I'm on a weightloss journey! I will not list the details of the journey here (atleast not now) BUT I do have a brand-new Youtube channell dedicated to documenting that journey called "A Different B" in which I do weekly video updates on my weighins and random videos about the journey. I invite anyone interested to check out the videos, comment, rate, and subscribe but NO PRESSURE! The videos are serving as more of a way to keep me "accountable" and release my frustrations during the journey. Also, this is NOT a vanity channell . . . its me, raw and uncut . . . happy, sad, angry . . . no glamour, no glitz! LOL. So brace yourselves.

Here's a link to my lastest video (posted yesterday)>> Week 2- A Different B

I'll be back later with another post about just what this journey entails, my feelings, updates, etc.

Thanks for sticking around! Be back soon with more posts!

au revoir.

Poetically Correct: Sestina for Survival

This poem is very, very special to me because it's dedicated to my Aunt, a breast cancer survivor, and the many people that I have known, loved, and/or lost to breast cancer.

This is a sestina. Click here for more about this form. It's a wee bit longer than I usually write, but the form calls for this number of lines. I hope that you will read the entire poem, if not, read what you can. I have a special request at the end of the post!

Sestina for Survival

these ragged, scrub brush palms
enclose me like cell block bars fit for paris hilton
but like her I walk free here on these sidewalks of los angeles
not because the failing economy forces me afoot to save money on gasoline
but because high above me in Heaven
loved ones don angel wings while i don a ribbon of pink

i do not stop when my cheeks puff rosey pink
from the uncharacteristically chill winds that whip the palms
like dandelions; for strength i look to the heavens
and muster up enough to mount the next hill; tons
of people will be here next spring and none will worry over the price of gasoline
or the price of checked baggage as they “race for the cure” in los angeles

even here in picturesque los angeles
sunny escape from reality with skies of orange and fuchsia pink
where we purchase suvs at veteran’s day sales though they guzzle gasoline
and veterans see not one cent of either profit, even here where miniature palms
frame entrances at lowly motels just as king palms frame the lax hilton,
where lawyers are fashionable accessories, we cannot plea-bargain the wrath of cancer-- heavens!!

somewhere below these cotton candy strewn, cornflower heavens
an old woman, face golden by tomato field sun, prays for los angeles
de la misericordia* to rid her of this demon feasting at her breast; maybe if she was nikkie hilton
or nicole richie and legions scrambled to hear whether she thought burnt orange is the new pink
or if rehab was truly the new black, someone would be there to stroke her calloused palms
when the chemo doesn't work and it feels as if the blood in her veins has been replaced with gasoline.

so no, i do not walk to save on gasoline
though my 401k like many others has sprung a leak and heaven
only knows where i will find the money next spring to grease uncle sam's palms
i walk these streets in anticipation of a flock of los angeles
de la misericordia* returning next spring in a flurry of bittersweet pink
to race down these streets like a pack of paparazzi pursuing paris hilton

for people that suffer in overcrowded hospitals or alone in a hospice resembling the beverly hilton
and families with budgets bloated by medical bills, never mind the fluctuating price of gasoline
and those that never got the chance to think pink
because they dismissed the lumps and pains-- dear heavens!!
a pink balloon will rise in memory of los angeles
that received their wings too soon and i will whisper psalms

71 and pray that God will be my fortress grander than any Hilton; every spring my feet pound los angeles
sidewalk with the power to move the heavens; my faith fuels me like gasoline
and i pray no pink balloon will ever float for me high above these scrub brush palms.

*"the angels of mercy" in Spanish

If you know anyone that is battling ANY cancer, disease, virus, condition, etc. or have lost anyone, feel free to leave a comment in their honor! This poem is dedicated to them! You can leave their name, nickname, a message, whatever you like!

Love is Luv: Sexy Blogger Award

Back again, with another blog award! This one was passed on to me by my twitter friend Chanel from The Fly Mommie! It took me awhile to do this post because my initial reaction was, "Sexy? ME?" lol. Thanks again, Chanel!

Rules: List 5 things about yourself that are sexy and then tag 5 others.

Hmmm . . . this is going to be a toughy, ya'll know how humble I am . . . right? ;)

• My eyes (wide, a bit different . . . usually flawlessly made up!)


• My lips (representing for the full lipped sistas!)


• My hair (I cannot tell you how many guys have randomly complimented my hair and/or tried to sneak a feel . . . loc'd ladies are in! lol)


• My boobs (well, yeah . . . ya'll get it lol)


• My legs (in my fave pair of stacked pumps? hello, calves! lol)

Who's tagged? ALL OF YOU! I read so many blogs by so many FABULOUS people, that I couldn't pick just five!

FINALLY!

For those of you new to Be Write Back, way back in January I made a "to do" list of things I wanted to accomplish in 2009. The very first item on the list was a . . .

DRIVER'S LICENSE

yes, yes, it's true . . . I'm 22 years old, living in a large metropolitan city . . . and I did not have a license. Yes, it sucked to not have a license all of this time, lol.

I took my behind-the-wheel test on April 24th and I failed . . . I wasn't terrible, I just made a "critical error" *inserteyeroll*. I wanted my license that day not only for myself but to surprise my father for his birthday. It totally sucked to return home with no license. So, after being down on myself for a while, I mustered up the courage to schedule another test. And, I . . .

PASSED

Now, who's going to buy me a car? lol

Poetically Correct: Life is But a Dream

On October 7, 2008, the Los Angeles Times headline read, “Father kills family and himself, despondent over financial loss.”

© bsquared86, 2009 Please do not use or reproduce without express permission. And for the record . . . this is not permission!

life is but a dream
(for 7 year old Arjuna*)
© bsquared86
she asked us did we brush our teeth
we smiled big so she could see
mama tucked ganesha in, then me
i asked for just one more hug before she left
she hugged me tight and her cheek was wet
"mama, what’s wrong?"
Holding me tighter she sings a song
i don’t understand the words
but her voice is soft, like birds
and soon sleep comes
© bsquared86
I dreamed of drums--
big drums like the ones the band played
at the thanksgiving parade
when Krishna put me on his shoulders so I could see
© bsquared86
i dreamed of fireworks—
loud fireworks like the ones we saw this summer
the colors were so pretty I wonder
what colors next year’s will be
© bsquared86
i dreamed of papa—
not like the papa I know, not the same
my papa doesn’t like to play games
but this new papa said, "lets play pretend
close your eyes until I tell you when"
© bsquared86
then
i dreamed of angels

© bsquared86, 2009 Please do not use or reproduce without express permission. And for the record . . . this is not permission!
______________________________________________

I feel like every time I turn around somebody else is committing suicide and/or murdering their family's over the current economic state and it hurts me, especially when they murder their poor, defenseless children. I wrote this poem last October for an online CW class. I was so devastated by the murders, little did I know that more and more of these same kind of tragedies would soon become common place. So, at the time it was just dedicated to 7 year old Arjuna Rajaram and his family but now its dedicated to everyone that we've lost.

Okay so this is not really a freshly written NaPoWriMo . . . you got me! LOL. But, since these suicide/homicides have been on my mind and heart alot lately, I felt that this was fitting for my last NaPoWriMo offering. This is one of my favorite poems from my MFA app manuscript because I experimented with taking on the voice of someone that I do not know outside of that one article and someone that is considerably younger than me.

I hope you all have enjoyed visiting my little piece of blogland as I have enjoyed visiting yours! I will be checking in on you all even after NaPoWriMo is over and I hope you all do the same! Feel free to "follow/friend" this blog!

For more poetry, click "poetry" in the post tags!

peace.

I Lay My MAC Down: Good Girl Gone Bad

I enterd my very first Makeup Challenge last week! WOOT! It was very fun. The theme was Good Girl Gone Bad and we had to do two looks (one good, one bad girl) that contrasted each other. The other ladies that entered did wonderul jobs and the winner's looks were amazing! I peeked at the polls and it looks like I got the second highest votes so I'm very honored!

Anyway, here are my looks . . . click the pics to see what products were used and such.

Good Girl- Neutral with a POP!

I never really do neutral eye looks, because I'm not good at them, lol. But, I wanted my "good girl" to look innocent and soft so I took a stab at it anyway. I also wanted it to be playful, so I added the pop on the lower lashline.

Bad Girl- Supercheetahcateyelicious

I've never warn a red lip before because I don't really have a red lipstick that I like. And also because people always condition full lipped gals like me to steer clear of bold lips (which is BULL because I think full lips look best in bold colors, but hey, that's me). I had to kind of "create" this color, you'll see what I mean if you click the pick for the product list. Also, I'm not big on eyeliner and I always have trouble doing winged liner but I decided to just go for it. It worked out SUPER well. I wanted to wear this look out that day but I knew I had to do my Good Girl look, so I had to say good bye, lol. I added the cheetah/leapard spots on the right eye to add drama.

This was tons of fun! Especially the mini photoshoot I launched into to create my entry, lol. I can't wait to see what the new challenge will be! Thanks to all that voted for me (if you read journeyed outside of BHM to read my blog, lol).