*peep*

I know you're looking at your blogger feed like, "Who the heck is this?" I know, I know. It's been a while . . . you haven't heard a peep from me since late 2010 so . . . PEEP!

I've still been around on twitter and tumblr and occasionally fotki but I've been missing posts longer than 140 characters that don't include cute bunnies eating bananas and the like.

Let's play catch up, shall we? ROLL THE HIGHLIGHTS!

Since my last post, I graduated from college (again!) on May 14, 2011!

And I turned in my creative thesis (i.e. my book of poetry) on November 15, 2011 and was officially awarded my Master of Fine Arts in Writing.

On Valentine's Day 2012, I finally started submitting my book out to publishing contests. Cross your fingers for me, okay? I really want to get this thing published! I need it!

*insert picture of YOU crossing your fingers*

Also, somewhere in that mix I was happy, sad, angry, sleepy, grumpy, perky, and I dyed my hair and it grew a lot, lol.


And here we are . . . May 9, 2012. I'm still a college professor (well, technically a "lecturer" but, eh, I like the sound of professor better, don't you?) and we're about to go on summer break. Yay for breaks! I've gone back to retail for the summer in a management position so I'm exhausted all the time but it's a good exhausted because they give me money, lol. Anyway, I have good news . . . CUE THE NEWS!

Sunday night it hit me -- I want to go to school again! Yeah, I know, I know . . . I'm a college professor so I'm in school all the time. What I mean is I want to be a student again . . . specifically a doctoral student. That's right . . . Ph. D. application time, baby!

So, I figured I'd dust this blog off . . . get to logging my experiences again. Over the next couple of weeks, I'll try to gussy up the place (I'm a bit over the large bee and yellow).

And for kicks . . . a cute bunny eating a banana!

 

TTYL - bsquared86

Loc'ing for Love! 1 Year Anniversary!

Ok, so technically 8/11 was my one year Loc anniversary . . . but i just made the video today, lol. So . . . happy anniversary to my Locs!

Click here for the video! I've disabled embedding b/c natural hair videos tend to "travel", lol. Feel free to comment and rate! I'd appreciate it! Thanks in advance!

Can't believe it's been a year! WOOOT!

FINALLY!

For those of you new to Be Write Back, way back in January I made a "to do" list of things I wanted to accomplish in 2009. The very first item on the list was a . . .

DRIVER'S LICENSE

yes, yes, it's true . . . I'm 22 years old, living in a large metropolitan city . . . and I did not have a license. Yes, it sucked to not have a license all of this time, lol.

I took my behind-the-wheel test on April 24th and I failed . . . I wasn't terrible, I just made a "critical error" *inserteyeroll*. I wanted my license that day not only for myself but to surprise my father for his birthday. It totally sucked to return home with no license. So, after being down on myself for a while, I mustered up the courage to schedule another test. And, I . . .

PASSED

Now, who's going to buy me a car? lol

I Lay My MAC Down: Good Girl Gone Bad

I enterd my very first Makeup Challenge last week! WOOT! It was very fun. The theme was Good Girl Gone Bad and we had to do two looks (one good, one bad girl) that contrasted each other. The other ladies that entered did wonderul jobs and the winner's looks were amazing! I peeked at the polls and it looks like I got the second highest votes so I'm very honored!

Anyway, here are my looks . . . click the pics to see what products were used and such.

Good Girl- Neutral with a POP!

I never really do neutral eye looks, because I'm not good at them, lol. But, I wanted my "good girl" to look innocent and soft so I took a stab at it anyway. I also wanted it to be playful, so I added the pop on the lower lashline.

Bad Girl- Supercheetahcateyelicious

I've never warn a red lip before because I don't really have a red lipstick that I like. And also because people always condition full lipped gals like me to steer clear of bold lips (which is BULL because I think full lips look best in bold colors, but hey, that's me). I had to kind of "create" this color, you'll see what I mean if you click the pick for the product list. Also, I'm not big on eyeliner and I always have trouble doing winged liner but I decided to just go for it. It worked out SUPER well. I wanted to wear this look out that day but I knew I had to do my Good Girl look, so I had to say good bye, lol. I added the cheetah/leapard spots on the right eye to add drama.

This was tons of fun! Especially the mini photoshoot I launched into to create my entry, lol. I can't wait to see what the new challenge will be! Thanks to all that voted for me (if you read journeyed outside of BHM to read my blog, lol).

Luv is Love: Kreativ Blogger Award! [picheavy]

I am very honored and humbled to announce that fellow blogger and poet Kimberly from The Possibility of Being has given me the "Kreativ Blogger Award!" Wow, wow, wow!

This was such a surprise and I am so very pleased! Be sure to go check out Kimberly's NaPoWriMo offerings! My favorite is Grandpa!

The award comes with a few responsibilities:

1. Post the award on your blog and link to the person who gave you the award.
   
2. List seven things you love.
   
3. Pass it on! List seven blogs you love and let those people know you’ve given them the award.
   

7 Loves (a little random sillyness)

Winnie the Pooh

My alma mater

My Godson

My phone

Photo Editing

Lakers

Twitter

7 Bloggers I'm Passing the Award To!

**click pic to go to blog!**

and everybody participating in

Oh, and no one is OBLIGATED to pass this on or anything like that! Just a fun little thing to show you all how much I enjoy your little piece of blogland!

Peace.

A look back in Hairstory!

This past sunday (3/29) was the anniversary of me deciding to rock nappy hair full throttle (i.e. my nappiversary). I realised that a lot of folks got a chance to witness my nappy and loc'd journey but not many know that I used to be a press'n'curl girl (NO RELAXER!!). Of course it's all on my fotki but I know that some folks just go straight to the new loc stuff so I decided to compile a little collage basically depicting my hair changes from Fall 2003 to Spring 2008 . . .

(1) High School Senior 03-04 (2-3)College Freshman 04-05 (4) College Sophmore w/ Highlights 05 (5) College Sophmore w/ allover light color 06 (6-7) College Junior w/ black rinse 06-07 (8) College Senior 07-08 (9) College Senior Big Chop w/ a fro 08

I guess you can say that this is an ode to my beloved press'n'curl, I've been missing it a little lately. That's all I knew from age 6 to age 21 and I wore it well, lol. I just really wanted a change. I didn't cut my hair because it was damaged or looked crazy or anything like that . . . I actually just cut it randomly after watching Tracie Mae's big chop video one weekend. I had a dream that I went to graduation w/ a teeny-weeny-afro and it felt right . . . so I decided to go ahead and snip off the ends of my hair where the curl had loosened from constant heat styling so I could rock one! To my suprise, I was left with a LOT of hair . . . I only cut like .5" to 1.5"off. And I didn't even end up going to graduation w/ a fro . . . I had kinky twists, lol.

For a look at my journey up to my big chop click here!! Better resolution pics and more detailed descriptions of styles/experiences.

Don't get me wrong, ,ya'll . . . I LOVE MY LOCS! I LOVE 'EM I LOVE 'EM I LOVE 'EM! lol But, sometimes it feels good to reminisce . . . I can't wait to see what happens in the many years to come with my hair. Thanks for joining me on this trip down memory lane!

Open Letter: Parents w/ Small Children

Lately, I've been ranting a lot on twitter . . . so I've decided to start a section here on the blog called "Open Letters: To Whom It May Concern" . . . This will expand beyond rants, of course. I plan to share other "Open Letters" to people/things that may be serious, funny, wacky, etc. Nothing is meant to offend, but if you're offended maybe you should take a step back and think about that, lol. We shall see! This first is a semi-serious a rant . . .

To Parents w/ small children:

What happens when I accidentally knee little Timmy Toddler in the face and tip over his buggy because his mommy thought it was okay to plow into my ankle and calf? I hope we never have to find that out. Pushing a stroller does not give you the right to bulldoze through crowds of people without uttering a simple "excuse me" or "pardon us." Not only are you using your child's stroller as a weapon but you are exposing your precious cargo to the possibolity of being toppled over or smacked by flailing limbs/packages! What are you thinking? Do you not care for your child's safety? Sure, I give strollers the right away whenever I can but don't push it! Literally.

Also, I do not need your little tike under my elbow while I'm shopping, eating at a restaurant, or at the register checking out. Seriously, for your child's safety, you need to keep a better eye and handle on them. I could be a freaking kidnapper . . . why are you letting them get so comfortable with a stranger!? Move their little behind before I have to say something because I will only speak to them once ("Excuse me, sweetie.") with my nice lady voice. After that, it's going to be stern and please do not come at me crazy because I have no problem going there with you in front of your child. You can explain to them what those words meant when you get home.

--the girl hit w/ a stroller and consequently fell into a sales associate and a display table and also almost smacked a little girl in the face with a shopping bag because she was under her elbow

On this day, one year ago . . .

I made my first post here on "B Write Back" on March 9, 2008 . . . here we are, one year later . . . alot has changed!

Happy Birthday

B WRITE BACK!!

I just want to take a moment and thank

• every single person that has commented on a post here


• all of the friends/followers in the "In Crowd"


• folks that have added B Write Back to their blog list


• and people that lurk around and read

When I started this blog a year ago, I had no idea that anybody would read it. I didn't even make a second post until a few months later, lol. Whenever I see a new person added to the "friends/followers"list . . . I get excited! And when I see new comments here, I get down right GIDDY! lol. I know that sounds silly but for a newbie blogger, those things mean ALOT!

So, thank you onc again for reading and supporting B Write Back! I look forward to many more years with you all!

Be on the lookout for more changes and new posts!

One Month Later . . .

. . . and I'm still celebrating. . .

. . . but working hard, too.

Happy One Month of Obama Day!

Bsquared86 Overload & Overhaul

OVERLOAD

In case you didn't notice, directly above the posts we have a new section called "Bsquared86 Overload." What is it? It's my twitter updates! Want to catch up to the minute MFA updates? Loc Updates? Mid-day rants? Music raves? Random Babble? Take a peek at the Bsquared86 Overload or, better yet, follow me on Twitter!

I joined Twitter at the urging of one of my friends and now I'm hooked. It's like bite-size blogging, lol. I don't always have time to blog but twitter is literally at my fingertips 24/7 (thanks to my handy dandy I-phone).

I started to just get a personal twitter account for fam and friends but I decided to make it open, using my blog screenname, because I want to hear from YOU!

Yes, you!

you, at your work desk, sneaking on to blogspot . . .
and you, in the campus computer lab lollygagging when you should be writing a paper . . .
and you, newly natural/loc'd beauty or makeup newbie searching for tips . . .
and you, aspiring MFA student that checks your email every 5 minutes and answers every strange phone number with a bright and cheery voice . . .

I want to here from all of you!

I want to talk to you . . . hear how your day is going . . . answer your questions . . . laugh at your fave youtube video . . . and stay up to date with your various projects and journeys. So come on over to Twitter and make yourself comfortable. If you're already on there, send me a message!

OVERHAUL

If you've been around this little piece of the blogosphere in the past couple of days then I'm sure you've noticed that my blog look has changed quite a bit.

I loved my old pink-zebra background and smiling title banner/thingy but it was time for it to go! The pink wasn't rocking my socks anymore and the narrow page layout made pic croppin/resizing a pain. I was also tired of looking at myself with my TWA (read:teeny-weeny afro) when I've been loc'ing for 6 months now (WOOT!). So, yeah . . . I needed a change.

First, I was in love with a turquoise background but it didn't feel crisp enough (if that makes sense) and then I settled for a white background . . . but the white was a bit too bland. So, I decided to go back to black. It's easier on the eyes (and wattage, according to Blackle) and makes me feel all sleek and chic (ok . . . that was corny . . . I'm sorry, lol).

As usual . . . the banner was created by ME and I hope that you will respectfully leave it where it is (swiper, no swiping!).

Stay tuned for a few other structural changes . . . I'm currently at work on the sidebar . . . it feels both cluttered and empty to me, lol.

How do you like the new look? Hate it? Love it? Miss the old? Good riddance? Any suggestions? Helpful HTML tips? Leave me a comment or tweet me on twitter!

What 6 months look like . . .

I started my loc journey on August 11, 2008 and on February 11, 2009 I officially completed 6 months of loc'ing and began my 7th month.

I'm so excited! I can really see the changes! WOOT!

For more comparison shots please click here.

For more loc journey pics please click here.

For pictures of my hair before locs (straight & nappy) click here.

Have any milestones coming up in your own life?

PLEASE SHARE in the comments!

Way more information than you need to know . . .

But, hey, why not?

I'm bored and in an effort to post regularly . . . I want to share this with you all!

Facebook runneth over with these "25 random things aout me" notes and I've decided that I want to post my list (edited where I deem necessary) here for my beloved readers, especially the "In Crowd!"

25 Random things about Bsquared86

1. I love "novelty" and line dances (i.e. The Heisman, Cupid Shuffle, Stanky Leg, Dutty Wine, Cha Cha Slide, Crank that _____, Electric Slide, etc.)
2. My ears haven't been pierced for years (and I don't plan on piercing them). I had them pierced when I was like 9 and on my 11th birthday I got the precious gift of a doctors visit to start treatment on my keyloids . . . oh joy! Me & my clip on earrings enjoy life keyloid free!
3. Writing the essays for my grad school apps make me feel stupid sometimes. . . do I even have a degree in english? lol. They're so hard!
4. I have seen every episode of Fresh Prince, Cosby Show, A Different World, and Roseanne . . . but I will watch them everytime they come on and probably curse at you if you interrupt my viewing. You may already know that I love certain TV shows, though.
5. I get embarassed for other people . . . hard to explain . . . but if someone on TV is about to embarass themselves I'll probably change the channell. It's wierd, I know.
6. I do not have a job. I am not in grad school. I am doing nothing with my life other than filling out grad school apps right now. I'll be working by spring though. (so stop asking! . . . just kidding . . . maybe . . . not really, lol.)
7. I talk really fast and I talk alot . . . wait, my bad . . . ya'll know that (in the case of blog readers, you all see that I can get a bit longwinded in my posts)
8. I get super excited when spellcheck doesn't find any errors.
9. My conscience is SUPER LOUD, lol. I am naturally predisposed to doing the right thing. Sorry, no bad-ass here lol. That's why I'm so nice . . . not because I like everyone, but because I just don't have it in me to be meanspirited. Good girls finish first!
10. I cry easily . . . be they happy or sad times, the tears will come!
11. I have a thing about collecting paper napkins from random places in my purse . . . I don't know why . . . *hangs head in shame*
12. Wikipedia is my number one source for information.
13. I do not drink and I never will . . . yeah, never . . . not even on special occassions . . . not even if the drink tastes like red koolaid . . . not even if I won't be able to "feel" the alcohol
14. Everytime I see a commercial for a movie that's up for an Oscar I get mad because Seven Pounds isn't up for any. I mean COME ON!
15. My entire room has been pink for my entire life . . . and I have not liked it . . . the entire time, lol. First bubblegum pink and now hot pink . . . thank my dad for that!
16. Inside jokes are the BEST jokes . . . but only when I'm in on them!
17. People keep coming to me with problems (both trivia questions and life issues) because I went to college . . . NEWSFLASH: I am neither an encyclopedia nor am I Dr. Phil. But, I help them anyway, with a smile, because I am a nice person and I usually do have an answer to their trivia and advice for their life issues. Lol.
18. I am such a packrat and my room is always junky. I fear that one day Neicy Nash and the Clean House crew will show up at my door lol. And if they do I know who called them (NuDiva85!)
19. I was voted Most Likely to Succeed in Middle School and High School . . . DAMN, THE PRESSURE! lol
20. I don't like scary movies . . . I don't care how silly or funny they may be to you . . . I don't even like commercials for scary movies . . . and I don't care how grown I may get . . . I never will. I don't see what's fun about scaring the shit out of yourself. Nope, I don't.
21. I curse . . . sometimes . . . alot . . . lol. It's my only vice . . . that and my coca cola addiction!
22. It feels weird not being at my undergad institution. I haven't quite adjusted to the fact that I won't be back there for a while and when I do go back I'll just be a visitor :(
23. I want to have a bunch of kids . . . a few of my own and a few adopted.
24. I play Monopoly on my iPhone more than I actually talk on it. This game is ADDICTIVE!
25. I have fotki photo albums where I document my hair journey (from 2004 till now) and makeup experiments. I wore my hair pressed/flatironed straight all of my life until last march. I kind of miss my straight hair, sometimes. But I love my locs!

For the record EVERYONE is tagged! Drop your list (or justa few random things about yourself) in the comment section or on your blog . . . let me know if you do so I can go check it out!

Comma Sense!

Hey ya'll! Been a while . . . I have a few posts that I need to get on out here a little later. I'm just trying to stay focused on these grad apps right now. People are already reporting admission decisions and such over at the MFA Blog and that has me super pumped to crank these babies out.

Anyway, I had to break away from writing/revising my statement of purpose and staring glossy-eyed at my manuscript to say this . . .

I

HATE

STRONGLY DISLIKE

COMMAS

*poundsheadagainstkeyboard*

Seriously . . . they get on my last nerve. Either I'm using too many or not enough!

I have failed papers because of comma usage. My content would be great, word choice good, research well done and BAM I'd get a gazillion points off for comma splices. Because of this, I find myself constantly second guessing my writing based solely upon my use of the comma.

This is ridiculous . . . I have a degree . . . IN ENGLISH! Why can't I use a comma correctly? I've had professors give me extra attention when it comes to comma usage- worksheets, guides, after class office time. NOTHING WORKED! These stupid comma's just won't stick!

I know that you're thinking, "This chick is nuts . . . she's having a fit over commas? what a nerd!" And you are right! These commas are driving me mad, MAD I SAY!

That's why I love poetry . . . If I want to totally abandon punctuation, I can! (in my mind:should that comma be there before "I can"?) And I do! I rarely use punctuation or capitalization in my poetry . . . I like it better that way. It feels more natural and less contrived. But, that's another story all together I suppose.

Back to my SOPs . . . au revoir

_____________________________________________________

Head on over to Essence Magazine's "Will You Marry Me 2009" contest and vote for Rashad & Andrea! http://www.essence.com/packages/willyoumarryme/vote.html

Bye Bye 08!

This post is loooong overdue! I was out of town for about 2 weeks, so I have major "post backup." Bear with me!

2008 was a great year! Two simply INCREDIBLE things happened- I graduated from college and Barack Obama won the election. The only thing that would have made the year any more complete was the Lakers winning the championship but, hey, you can't win em all!

2008 was a stressful year with rollover stress from 07 but I refuse to let anything that stressed me out in 2008 rollover into 2009. Alot of those things that stressed me were things that I couldn't control(and they often overshadowed things that I could control). This year, I am focusing on what I can control and going after those goals first (and saving my worry lines for them, lol).

So . . . here's my 'to do' list for 2009

• Driver's Licence- Yes, it's true . . . I am a grownass woman with no liscence. Don't ask why, don't ask how. Just know that I WILL have my licence soon.
• In conjunction with the aformentioned . . . some WHEELS! I'm thinking a VW Beetle or a Mini Cooper . . . I love little cars!
• TURN IN COMPLETE GRAD SCHOOL APPLICATIONS!!! The calarts app is due tomorrow and what do I have ready? NOT A DAMN THING! No use wasting time lamenting my mistakes! And then there were 6 . . .
• Job/Work/Employment- I'm contemplating going back to my summer retail gig. Hours are being cut way down these days but HEY it's money. We'll see. I do not, do not, DO NOT want to be on the bus in this city which is why it is IMPERATIVE that I get my licence quick fast and in a hurry so I can cash in that vehicular IOU the parentals gave me.
• Visit my good friend Ms. Brown in her new city! Even though we always lived just a few blocks from eachother in SoCal I didn't meet her until I traveled to teh opposite end of the country for college! And now she's moved out of state *sad face* but I will be visiting in a couple of months *smile*.
• Get involved in my community. I really want to get involved in some type of adult literacy initiative. Know of any in SoCal? Let me know!
• Keep in contact with folks! I have friends from school that I owe phone calls from the fall and a mentor from high school that I haven't spoken to in ages. *hangs head in shame* But in 09 that shall change!
• Write regularly and seriously! If I'm going to be a writer I need to write more,point blank.

I would add "get into grad school" to the list but I have accepted that "getting in" is not so much in my control as putting my best foot forward with my application.

Anyway, that's my list as of right now. We'll check back with this in a few months and see how far I've gotten.

It's My Birthday!

I've been 22 for the past hour and 7 minutes . . . it feels good!

I am so thankful for another year!

Black is the New President

I, too, sing America.

I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.

Tomorrow,
I'll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody'll dare
Say to me,
"Eat in the kitchen,"
Then.

Besides,
They'll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed--

I, too, am America.

--Langston Hughes, "I, too, sing America"

Happy dance provided by "Ain't No Stoppin Us Now" by Luther Vandross

Finding My Happy Place + Manuscript Madness

Friday marked the 9th anniversary of my maternal grandmother's passing but I can still remember October 11, 1999 like it was yesterday. When I think of my life and my family, I tend to regard it as "Before she died" and "After she died" because so much changed with that single event, including my writing. Honestly, I didn’t even know that I was that close to my grandmother—I lived in Cali and she lived down south. I’d been traveling down there to visit her and other members of my family since I was about 2 months old and then, while I slept, she was gone.

I don’t know what to call what I went into when she died. A depression? Sounds way too harsh. I’ll just say I slipped into a little bit of darkness. Yeah, that’s it, darkness. I have a habit (that I’m trying to –scratch that- will break!) of slipping into darkness when bad things happen. I put on a smiley face and go through life looking unscathed but inside it’s all dark.

Anyway, when my grandmother died, poetry became such a release. I was able to pour out my feelings about her death. Things I couldn't say because I was supposed to be "strong" for everybody else. But, at 12, I wasn't strong enough . . . not at 13, not at 14 . . . hell, sometimes not at 21. Soon, I redirected that pain into other topics but they were all so sad and angry. And that’s what my poetry was, for a long time—sad and angry.

I kind of feel like Mary J. Blige—I do sad and angry so well that when I try to write about something else it feels foreign. Heart break, death, anxiety, abuse, deception, rejection—I reworked and twisted those things a million different ways. Didn’t help that I had a lot of hurt come my way to feed that fire—but that’s another blog, lol.

So, what does this have to do with applying to MFAs?

When I look back at the 300+ poems I’ve written since 1999, I feel like I’ve outgrown them. Okay, clearly, I’ve outgrown the really early ones, lol. But, even the more recent work doesn’t feel right. I don’t think they represent my potential and I don’t really want to include any of it in my manuscript (for applications).

In my CW classes this fall, I’ve written a variety of poems. None of them really give off warm and fuzzy feelings but I don’t necessarily want to write “warm and fuzzy” poems—I just want to be able to show that I’m versatile. Like, MJB, I want to show the people (including the MFA readers) that I can do nice and happy just as well as I do sad and angry, lol. I’ve tried, ya’ll, I mean really tried to write poetry that didn’t possess just a tinge of darkness. I can count those poems on just a few fingers and half of them were written about things that glittered like gold but ended up worth no more than a tin can, lol.

I’m the kind of poet that just lets the poem flow and go where it needs to go and say what it needs to say—I don’t force anything on it or start with any real plans. But, sometimes, if I’m writing and I feel myself slipping into a sour tone, I just stop. I know, I know . . . I should just let it flow. But, damn, it gets boring! And, I don’t always want to relive the pain it takes to make the voice real. You know what I mean?

Example:

I just wrote a poem about “Autumn.” Easy, right? It starts off nice—pretty colors of sunsets, football games, leaves falling. But, WHAM, suddenly it slips into not so nice stuff—poverty and decay. So, I stopped . . . I bumped that part to the bottom of my word doc and tried to begin that section again. But, nothing worked. So, I conceded and picked up where I left off. My prof and some classmates liked it. For me, it was bittersweet. I was proud of it but mad at it at the same time. I wish I could have written something else, but I don't know what else I could have written.

Oh, the passion of poetry!

It’s not that I am not a happy person because I am. I'm always laughing, smiling, joking around. But, I guess, it’s difficult for me to pull from those good things and inject more positive images into my poetry.

Any thoughts? Suggestions? Similar issues?