Showing posts with label Tomfoolery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tomfoolery. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

*peep*

I know you're looking at your blogger feed like, "Who the heck is this?" I know, I know. It's been a while . . . you haven't heard a peep from me since late 2010 so . . . PEEP!

I've still been around on twitter and tumblr and occasionally fotki but I've been missing posts longer than 140 characters that don't include cute bunnies eating bananas and the like.

Let's play catch up, shall we? ROLL THE HIGHLIGHTS!

Since my last post, I graduated from college (again!) on May 14, 2011!



And I turned in my creative thesis (i.e. my book of poetry) on November 15, 2011 and was officially awarded my Master of Fine Arts in Writing.



On Valentine's Day 2012, I finally started submitting my book out to publishing contests. Cross your fingers for me, okay? I really want to get this thing published! I need it!

*insert picture of YOU crossing your fingers*

Also, somewhere in that mix I was happy, sad, angry, sleepy, grumpy, perky, and I dyed my hair and it grew a lot, lol.


And here we are . . . May 9, 2012. I'm still a college professor (well, technically a "lecturer" but, eh, I like the sound of professor better, don't you?) and we're about to go on summer break. Yay for breaks! I've gone back to retail for the summer in a management position so I'm exhausted all the time but it's a good exhausted because they give me money, lol. Anyway, I have good news . . . CUE THE NEWS!

Sunday night it hit me -- I want to go to school again! Yeah, I know, I know . . . I'm a college professor so I'm in school all the time. What I mean is I want to be a student again . . . specifically a doctoral student. That's right . . . Ph. D. application time, baby!

So, I figured I'd dust this blog off . . . get to logging my experiences again. Over the next couple of weeks, I'll try to gussy up the place (I'm a bit over the large bee and yellow).

And for kicks . . . a cute bunny eating a banana!

 

TTYL - bsquared86

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Tomfoolery & Shenanigans: Throw'd TV

My name is BSQUARED and I'm a youtube junkie . . . yes, it's true . . . I make rounds on youtube like folks flip thru TV stations, lol. But, that's ok . . . b/c it's free and I'm always thoroughly entertained!

For today's installment of Tomfoolery & Shenanigans, I bring you the good folks at Throw'd TV. I just ran across one of their videos on facebook & youtube'd them for more. Check out one of their latest videos



be sure to head over to their YT channell and comment, rate, and/or subscribe!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Loc'ing for Love! 1 Year Anniversary!


Ok, so technically 8/11 was my one year Loc anniversary . . . but i just made the video today, lol. So . . . happy anniversary to my Locs!




Click here for the video! I've disabled embedding b/c natural hair videos tend to "travel", lol. Feel free to comment and rate! I'd appreciate it! Thanks in advance!

Can't believe it's been a year! WOOOT!



Thursday, April 2, 2009

A look back in Hairstory!


This past sunday (3/29) was the anniversary of me deciding to rock nappy hair full throttle (i.e. my nappiversary). I realised that a lot of folks got a chance to witness my nappy and loc'd journey but not many know that I used to be a press'n'curl girl (NO RELAXER!!). Of course it's all on my fotki but I know that some folks just go straight to the new loc stuff so I decided to compile a little collage basically depicting my hair changes from Fall 2003 to Spring 2008 . . .



(1) High School Senior 03-04 (2-3)College Freshman 04-05 (4) College Sophmore w/ Highlights 05 (5) College Sophmore w/ allover light color 06 (6-7) College Junior w/ black rinse 06-07 (8) College Senior 07-08 (9) College Senior Big Chop w/ a fro 08


I guess you can say that this is an ode to my beloved press'n'curl, I've been missing it a little lately. That's all I knew from age 6 to age 21 and I wore it well, lol. I just really wanted a change. I didn't cut my hair because it was damaged or looked crazy or anything like that . . . I actually just cut it randomly after watching Tracie Mae's big chop video one weekend. I had a dream that I went to graduation w/ a teeny-weeny-afro and it felt right . . . so I decided to go ahead and snip off the ends of my hair where the curl had loosened from constant heat styling so I could rock one! To my suprise, I was left with a LOT of hair . . . I only cut like .5" to 1.5"off. And I didn't even end up going to graduation w/ a fro . . . I had kinky twists, lol.


For a look at my journey up to my big chop click here!! Better resolution pics and more detailed descriptions of styles/experiences.


Don't get me wrong, ,ya'll . . . I LOVE MY LOCS! I LOVE 'EM I LOVE 'EM I LOVE 'EM! lol But, sometimes it feels good to reminisce . . . I can't wait to see what happens in the many years to come with my hair. Thanks for joining me on this trip down memory lane!


Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Open Letter: Parents w/ Small Children


Lately, I've been ranting a lot on twitter . . . so I've decided to start a section here on the blog called "Open Letters: To Whom It May Concern" . . . This will expand beyond rants, of course. I plan to share other "Open Letters" to people/things that may be serious, funny, wacky, etc. Nothing is meant to offend, but if you're offended maybe you should take a step back and think about that, lol. We shall see! This first is a semi-serious a rant . . .


To Parents w/ small children:

What happens when I accidentally knee little Timmy Toddler in the face and tip over his buggy because his mommy thought it was okay to plow into my ankle and calf? I hope we never have to find that out. Pushing a stroller does not give you the right to bulldoze through crowds of people without uttering a simple "excuse me" or "pardon us." Not only are you using your child's stroller as a weapon but you are exposing your precious cargo to the possibolity of being toppled over or smacked by flailing limbs/packages! What are you thinking? Do you not care for your child's safety? Sure, I give strollers the right away whenever I can but don't push it! Literally.


Also, I do not need your little tike under my elbow while I'm shopping, eating at a restaurant, or at the register checking out. Seriously, for your child's safety, you need to keep a better eye and handle on them. I could be a freaking kidnapper . . . why are you letting them get so comfortable with a stranger!? Move their little behind before I have to say something because I will only speak to them once ("Excuse me, sweetie.") with my nice lady voice. After that, it's going to be stern and please do not come at me crazy because I have no problem going there with you in front of your child. You can explain to them what those words meant when you get home.


--the girl hit w/ a stroller and consequently fell into a sales associate and a display table and also almost smacked a little girl in the face with a shopping bag because she was under her elbow


Monday, March 23, 2009

I Lay My MAC Down: St. Patty's Day Look (kinda-sorta)

So, I didn't wear green on St. Paddy's day . . . if I'd known my mother would pinch me, maybe I would have, lol. I'd planned to rock green eyeshadow but I got lazy and didn't do it.

Well, I through a bit o'green into my makeup look the next day . . .

Nothing special . . . fairly neutral except for the green. I've been in a makeup rut lately. I used to do wacky, crazy, bold looks every day last year but these days I just don't feel like experimenting. I've been lurking around Specktra.net checking out their FOTDs and tutorials, hoping to find some inspiration. Maybe spring will bring new looks for me.
Note: If you're reading this as a blog feed and not on the actual blog, then the new graphic looks a little wacky to you, lol. It's best seen on the blog w/ the black background. Just thought I'd mention it.

Monday, March 9, 2009

On this day, one year ago . . .

I made my first post here on "B Write Back" on March 9, 2008 . . . here we are, one year later . . . alot has changed!





Happy Birthday
B WRITE BACK!!





I just want to take a moment and thank


  • every single person that has commented on a post here

  • all of the friends/followers in the "In Crowd"

  • folks that have added B Write Back to their blog list

  • and people that lurk around and read

When I started this blog a year ago, I had no idea that anybody would read it. I didn't even make a second post until a few months later, lol. Whenever I see a new person added to the "friends/followers"list . . . I get excited! And when I see new comments here, I get down right GIDDY! lol. I know that sounds silly but for a newbie blogger, those things mean ALOT!

So, thank you onc again for reading and supporting B Write Back! I look forward to many more years with you all!


Be on the lookout for more changes and new posts!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Writing Music

Some people have "riding music" that they listen too when they're on the way to work, to school, to parties, or just for a leisurely drive. The music soothes and calms them as they tackle traffic or monotonous high way. Or, it may get them excited and pumped, ready to take on the world or party their hardest. Unfortunately, my lack of a personal mode of transportation prevents me from having "riding music" since I don't get to "ride" anywhere. LMAO.

My iTunes/iPod has about 4400 songs and I can honestly say that I listen to atleast 90% of everything there plus a bunch of other music that I have been too lazy to add to my itunes from their CD format. So, anyone can see that I love music. I listen to music while I do everything in life . . . thanks to my iPod. So, it would only make since that there are certain pieces of music that I prefer to listen to while doing the activity that serves as my bread and butter . . .



Writing Music



Right now, my favorite album to listen to when I'm trying to write these SOPs and poems for my manuscript is



Adele's 19 . . . OMGoodness! I loooove this album, especially "Daydreamer" and "Melt My Heart to Stone (video version). I saw her perform on SNL and a couple of other shows and I liked her sound. After her performance at the Grammy Awards I went to itunes to see how much her album was and it was only $7.99! SEVEN NINETY-NINE? Are you kidding me? So, I bought it. The best $7.99 I've spent in years.

What songs/albums do you listen to when you drive? write? read? paint? draw? excercise? do your hair? walk? LOL Anything special?
Leave a comment or post your own "____ Music" on your blog . . . be sure to drop me a comment to let me know if you do, so I can check out your list!



Friday, February 20, 2009

One Month Later . . .

. . . and I'm still celebrating. . .


. . . but working hard, too.


Happy One Month of Obama Day!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Bsquared86 Overload & Overhaul

OVERLOAD

In case you didn't notice, directly above the posts we have a new section called "Bsquared86 Overload." What is it? It's my twitter updates! Want to catch up to the minute MFA updates? Loc Updates? Mid-day rants? Music raves? Random Babble? Take a peek at the Bsquared86 Overload or, better yet, follow me on Twitter!

I joined Twitter at the urging of one of my friends and now I'm hooked. It's like bite-size blogging, lol. I don't always have time to blog but twitter is literally at my fingertips 24/7 (thanks to my handy dandy I-phone).

I started to just get a personal twitter account for fam and friends but I decided to make it open, using my blog screenname, because I want to hear from YOU!

Yes, you!

you, at your work desk, sneaking on to blogspot . . .
and you, in the campus computer lab lollygagging when you should be writing a paper . . .
and you, newly natural/loc'd beauty or makeup newbie searching for tips . . .
and you, aspiring MFA student that checks your email every 5 minutes and answers every strange phone number with a bright and cheery voice . . .

I want to here from all of you!

I want to talk to you . . . hear how your day is going . . . answer your questions . . . laugh at your fave youtube video . . . and stay up to date with your various projects and journeys. So come on over to Twitter and make yourself comfortable. If you're already on there, send me a message!
OVERHAUL

If you've been around this little piece of the blogosphere in the past couple of days then I'm sure you've noticed that my blog look has changed quite a bit.




I loved my old pink-zebra background and smiling title banner/thingy but it was time for it to go! The pink wasn't rocking my socks anymore and the narrow page layout made pic croppin/resizing a pain. I was also tired of looking at myself with my TWA (read:teeny-weeny afro) when I've been loc'ing for 6 months now (WOOT!). So, yeah . . . I needed a change.

First, I was in love with a turquoise background but it didn't feel crisp enough (if that makes sense) and then I settled for a white background . . . but the white was a bit too bland. So, I decided to go back to black. It's easier on the eyes (and wattage, according to Blackle) and makes me feel all sleek and chic (ok . . . that was corny . . . I'm sorry, lol).

As usual . . . the banner was created by ME and I hope that you will respectfully leave it where it is (swiper, no swiping!).

Stay tuned for a few other structural changes . . . I'm currently at work on the sidebar . . . it feels both cluttered and empty to me, lol.

How do you like the new look? Hate it? Love it? Miss the old? Good riddance? Any suggestions? Helpful HTML tips? Leave me a comment or tweet me on twitter!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

What 6 months look like . . .

I started my loc journey on August 11, 2008 and on February 11, 2009 I officially completed 6 months of loc'ing and began my 7th month.


I'm so excited! I can really see the changes! WOOT!
For more comparison shots please click here.
For more loc journey pics please click here.
For pictures of my hair before locs (straight & nappy) click here.
Have any milestones coming up in your own life?
PLEASE SHARE in the comments!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Way more information than you need to know . . .

But, hey, why not?


I'm bored and in an effort to post regularly . . . I want to share this with you all!

Facebook runneth over with these "25 random things aout me" notes and I've decided that I want to post my list (edited where I deem necessary) here for my beloved readers, especially the "In Crowd!"

25 Random things about Bsquared86


  1. I love "novelty" and line dances (i.e. The Heisman, Cupid Shuffle, Stanky Leg, Dutty Wine, Cha Cha Slide, Crank that _____, Electric Slide, etc.)
  2. My ears haven't been pierced for years (and I don't plan on piercing them). I had them pierced when I was like 9 and on my 11th birthday I got the precious gift of a doctors visit to start treatment on my keyloids . . . oh joy! Me & my clip on earrings enjoy life keyloid free!
  3. Writing the essays for my grad school apps make me feel stupid sometimes. . . do I even have a degree in english? lol. They're so hard!
  4. I have seen every episode of Fresh Prince, Cosby Show, A Different World, and Roseanne . . . but I will watch them everytime they come on and probably curse at you if you interrupt my viewing. You may already know that I love certain TV shows, though.
  5. I get embarassed for other people . . . hard to explain . . . but if someone on TV is about to embarass themselves I'll probably change the channell. It's wierd, I know.
  6. I do not have a job. I am not in grad school. I am doing nothing with my life other than filling out grad school apps right now. I'll be working by spring though. (so stop asking! . . . just kidding . . . maybe . . . not really, lol.)
  7. I talk really fast and I talk alot . . . wait, my bad . . . ya'll know that (in the case of blog readers, you all see that I can get a bit longwinded in my posts)
  8. I get super excited when spellcheck doesn't find any errors.
  9. My conscience is SUPER LOUD, lol. I am naturally predisposed to doing the right thing. Sorry, no bad-ass here lol. That's why I'm so nice . . . not because I like everyone, but because I just don't have it in me to be meanspirited. Good girls finish first!
  10. I cry easily . . . be they happy or sad times, the tears will come!
  11. I have a thing about collecting paper napkins from random places in my purse . . . I don't know why . . . *hangs head in shame*
  12. Wikipedia is my number one source for information.
  13. I do not drink and I never will . . . yeah, never . . . not even on special occassions . . . not even if the drink tastes like red koolaid . . . not even if I won't be able to "feel" the alcohol
  14. Everytime I see a commercial for a movie that's up for an Oscar I get mad because Seven Pounds isn't up for any. I mean COME ON!
  15. My entire room has been pink for my entire life . . . and I have not liked it . . . the entire time, lol. First bubblegum pink and now hot pink . . . thank my dad for that!
  16. Inside jokes are the BEST jokes . . . but only when I'm in on them!
  17. People keep coming to me with problems (both trivia questions and life issues) because I went to college . . . NEWSFLASH: I am neither an encyclopedia nor am I Dr. Phil. But, I help them anyway, with a smile, because I am a nice person and I usually do have an answer to their trivia and advice for their life issues. Lol.
  18. I am such a packrat and my room is always junky. I fear that one day Neicy Nash and the Clean House crew will show up at my door lol. And if they do I know who called them (NuDiva85!)
  19. I was voted Most Likely to Succeed in Middle School and High School . . . DAMN, THE PRESSURE! lol
  20. I don't like scary movies . . . I don't care how silly or funny they may be to you . . . I don't even like commercials for scary movies . . . and I don't care how grown I may get . . . I never will. I don't see what's fun about scaring the shit out of yourself. Nope, I don't.
  21. I curse . . . sometimes . . . alot . . . lol. It's my only vice . . . that and my coca cola addiction!
  22. It feels weird not being at my undergad institution. I haven't quite adjusted to the fact that I won't be back there for a while and when I do go back I'll just be a visitor :(
  23. I want to have a bunch of kids . . . a few of my own and a few adopted.
  24. I play Monopoly on my iPhone more than I actually talk on it. This game is ADDICTIVE!
  25. I have fotki photo albums where I document my hair journey (from 2004 till now) and makeup experiments. I wore my hair pressed/flatironed straight all of my life until last march. I kind of miss my straight hair, sometimes. But I love my locs!

For the record EVERYONE is tagged! Drop your list (or justa few random things about yourself) in the comment section or on your blog . . . let me know if you do so I can go check it out!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Comma Sense!

Hey ya'll! Been a while . . . I have a few posts that I need to get on out here a little later. I'm just trying to stay focused on these grad apps right now. People are already reporting admission decisions and such over at the MFA Blog and that has me super pumped to crank these babies out.
Anyway, I had to break away from writing/revising my statement of purpose and staring glossy-eyed at my manuscript to say this . . .
I
HATE
STRONGLY DISLIKE
COMMAS
*poundsheadagainstkeyboard*
Seriously . . . they get on my last nerve. Either I'm using too many or not enough!
I have failed papers because of comma usage. My content would be great, word choice good, research well done and BAM I'd get a gazillion points off for comma splices. Because of this, I find myself constantly second guessing my writing based solely upon my use of the comma.
This is ridiculous . . . I have a degree . . . IN ENGLISH! Why can't I use a comma correctly? I've had professors give me extra attention when it comes to comma usage- worksheets, guides, after class office time. NOTHING WORKED! These stupid comma's just won't stick!
I know that you're thinking, "This chick is nuts . . . she's having a fit over commas? what a nerd!" And you are right! These commas are driving me mad, MAD I SAY!
That's why I love poetry . . . If I want to totally abandon punctuation, I can! (in my mind:should that comma be there before "I can"?) And I do! I rarely use punctuation or capitalization in my poetry . . . I like it better that way. It feels more natural and less contrived. But, that's another story all together I suppose.
Back to my SOPs . . . au revoir
_____________________________________________________
Head on over to Essence Magazine's "Will You Marry Me 2009" contest and vote for Rashad & Andrea! http://www.essence.com/packages/willyoumarryme/vote.html

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

It's My Birthday!


I've been 22 for the past hour and 7 minutes . . . it feels good!


I am so thankful for another year!





Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Black is the New President

I, too, sing America.

I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.

Tomorrow,
I'll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody'll dare
Say to me,
"Eat in the kitchen,"
Then.


Besides,
They'll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed--


I, too, am America.
--Langston Hughes, "I, too, sing America"
Happy dance provided by "Ain't No Stoppin Us Now" by Luther Vandross

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Greenlight! (MFA Update)

So, I asked 4 professors for recommendations a few weeks ago. 3 responded immediately (w/ a yes!). A couple of a weeks later I got a response from the fourth and she said


Huh? Say what now? As I read the email my heart started racing, anxiety started creeping, and my eyes started welling. I thought I was about to have a freaking panic attack.

Am I in the Twighlight Zone?

Yes, ya'll . . . she said no! Well, actually she said to ask someone else. But, hey, I know a "no" when I see a "no," lol.

I had to let this marinate for a few days.

I knew that it would be in my best interest not to respond to her immediately. I also knew that I had to respond. I went through a myriad of emotions- kind of like a break up. Outrage, denial, fear, hurt. Then, finally, acceptance. Her reasons for saying no were understandable- she has a criteria for recommending folks and, unfortunately, the last time I had her I fallen short. But, since I'd had her many times over the years and she knew me at my best and worst,

so even if you she couldn't rave about me as a student she could atleast mention my potential.

Right?

I sent her a reply as honest as her "no" because I had nothing to lose at this point. I admitted that I was not and probably will never be the best student. Told her what had been going on with my last year of undergrad, conceded that in the end I was just trying to graduate. But, I wanted her to understand that I love writing more than anything and that's why I'm pursuing the MFA. Thanked her and said I'd see her the next time I was around my alma mater.

A couple of hours later I had a "yes" w/ conditions.

She agreed to do a couple of my recs, but only those that didn't require a form. She didn't want to have to fudge any details about me as a student; just play up my strengths. Fine with me! lol.

So, all 4 were asked and all 4 said yes. This morning I sent out emails with basic info about myself and soon they will each reieve a package from me (Thanks to advice over at the MFA Blog, I decided to make this rec process as easy as posible for them by providing postage, envelopes, and forms).

Let the happy dancing commence, courtesy of John Legend's "Greenlight"


Oh, also, I was thinking about ways to thank them for helping me . . . what should I do? A thank you note doesn't seem personal enough. I saw mention on the MFA Blog about somebody sending their recommendors a copy of their favorite book. Well, I don't really have a fave book. I do, however, have a book that may have singlehandedly inspired me to write poetry in the first place. It's obscure and out of print. To amazon I go!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Love Loc'down!

I forgot to mention in my last post that October 11th was also my


2 month LOCaversary!


as usual, join me in my happy dance




Yes, ladies and lads . . . this will be my 3rd month in my journey to loc'dom. How exciting?! Here's a comparison shot of my progress since my 1st retwist on 8/17 and my 5th retwist on 10/15.




Isn't nappy hair amazing? I mean, seriously. Something is happening atop this head of mine that is special and powerful!


I decided to adopt the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy for my hair though. If people don't ask me if I'm loc'ing then I don't tell em- simple as that. I'm just not in the mood for any long conversations about it or any questions.


I've basically been natural all of my life (more about that on my fotki "About Me" page, check it out) but I was getting my hair pressed from age 6 until last March. Rocking a fro this summer, I encountered jokes, questions, and just a few drippings of disdain about my hair. Everybody pretty much accepted this new nappy-all-the-time Bsquared but I know that a few of them are waiting for me to get over this phase and press this wilderness out, lol. Mostly because they're just used to me having (kinda) long, straight hair. (Click here to see the old me.)

Anyway, I always knew that I wanted to loc my hair one day and, just how I woke up one day and decided to stop pressing my hair, I decided to start loc'ing my hair. I am a DIYer-- I started my own fingercoils and I do all maintenance myself. For the first time I have total control over my hair. If I want to wake up tomorrow and comb these suckas out, I will. No money lost and nobody's time but my own.




Back to this "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy. A week or so ago, a lady stopped us in a parking lot and asked who maintained my locs, offering me her card. I panicked for a minute, thinking "Damn, lady, you just outted me in front of my mom!" but when my mother didn't mention anything I thought that either she didn't hear the lady clearly or didn't care. Anyway, today, we saw S. Epatha Merkerson (the black supervisor on Law & Order) on a commercial with her oft-hidden-under-a-wig locs showing. And my mom said, "Look, she's rocking her locs!" and I said "Me, too!" and pulled at a few of mine. Apparently, my mom had concluded that their were two types of locs- the kind you can take out (really coils) and the kind that you can't (actual locs). Eventually, I ended up telling her that, yes, I had coils but now I'm loc'ing.


"You're going to loc your hair?"

"I am loc'ing my hair. See?" pulling a couple out so she can see

"So, you know that if you don't want those anymore, you have to cut all ya hair off!"

"No, I don't. I can just take my time and comb them out. I mean, I can cut my hair off but all that doesn't matter b/c I plan on having these for a long time."


I gave her a quick explanation about how not all of the hair locs at once and how I just retwist the bases, etc. She looked a little confused but not bothered. YAY! One parent down, one parent to go. She was the most important one for this particular change, though. My dad is bald . . . hair issues aren't his area. But, my mom-- I care about what she thinks. My whole plan was to just get them used to my hair like this. I started rocking coils back in July, I'd coil my hair and after a week I'd rock a coil out. And they both like it, I even coiled my moms hair one day. I just wanted them to be comfortable with my hair like this-- I wanted them to approach it like just another hairstyle without clouding their judgement with their preconcieved notions about locs like thinking they're nasty or unruly or smelly or ugly or _________. And, I think it went well.


One small step for loc'dom, one leap for nappiness everywhere! Ok, that was corny . . . sorry.

See more pics of my hair journey- from a press'n'curl to a fro to locs- at public.fotki.com/bsquared86.




Oh . . . wait . . . don't leave! COME BACK!

You can thank the great Yeezy for the post title. "Love Lockdown" is his first single from his upcoming album. Peep the video below. It's kind of wierd to me. I expected something a la Glow In the Dark Tour.

Do ya'll like it? Let me know in the comments.


Stay tuned for an MFA update/post soon!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Finding My Happy Place + Manuscript Madness

Friday marked the 9th anniversary of my maternal grandmother's passing but I can still remember October 11, 1999 like it was yesterday. When I think of my life and my family, I tend to regard it as "Before she died" and "After she died" because so much changed with that single event, including my writing. Honestly, I didn’t even know that I was that close to my grandmother—I lived in Cali and she lived down south. I’d been traveling down there to visit her and other members of my family since I was about 2 months old and then, while I slept, she was gone.

I don’t know what to call what I went into when she died. A depression? Sounds way too harsh. I’ll just say I slipped into a little bit of darkness. Yeah, that’s it, darkness. I have a habit (that I’m trying to –scratch that- will break!) of slipping into darkness when bad things happen. I put on a smiley face and go through life looking unscathed but inside it’s all dark.

Anyway, when my grandmother died, poetry became such a release. I was able to pour out my feelings about her death. Things I couldn't say because I was supposed to be "strong" for everybody else. But, at 12, I wasn't strong enough . . . not at 13, not at 14 . . . hell, sometimes not at 21. Soon, I redirected that pain into other topics but they were all so sad and angry. And that’s what my poetry was, for a long time—sad and angry.

I kind of feel like Mary J. Blige—I do sad and angry so well that when I try to write about something else it feels foreign. Heart break, death, anxiety, abuse, deception, rejection—I reworked and twisted those things a million different ways. Didn’t help that I had a lot of hurt come my way to feed that fire—but that’s another blog, lol.

So, what does this have to do with applying to MFAs?

When I look back at the 300+ poems I’ve written since 1999, I feel like I’ve outgrown them. Okay, clearly, I’ve outgrown the really early ones, lol. But, even the more recent work doesn’t feel right. I don’t think they represent my potential and I don’t really want to include any of it in my manuscript (for applications).

In my CW classes this fall, I’ve written a variety of poems. None of them really give off warm and fuzzy feelings but I don’t necessarily want to write “warm and fuzzy” poems—I just want to be able to show that I’m versatile. Like, MJB, I want to show the people (including the MFA readers) that I can do nice and happy just as well as I do sad and angry, lol. I’ve tried, ya’ll, I mean really tried to write poetry that didn’t possess just a tinge of darkness. I can count those poems on just a few fingers and half of them were written about things that glittered like gold but ended up worth no more than a tin can, lol.


I’m the kind of poet that just lets the poem flow and go where it needs to go and say what it needs to say—I don’t force anything on it or start with any real plans. But, sometimes, if I’m writing and I feel myself slipping into a sour tone, I just stop. I know, I know . . . I should just let it flow. But, damn, it gets boring! And, I don’t always want to relive the pain it takes to make the voice real. You know what I mean?

Example:

I just wrote a poem about “Autumn.” Easy, right? It starts off nice—pretty colors of sunsets, football games, leaves falling. But, WHAM, suddenly it slips into not so nice stuff—poverty and decay. So, I stopped . . . I bumped that part to the bottom of my word doc and tried to begin that section again. But, nothing worked. So, I conceded and picked up where I left off. My prof and some classmates liked it. For me, it was bittersweet. I was proud of it but mad at it at the same time. I wish I could have written something else, but I don't know what else I could have written.


Oh, the passion of poetry!

It’s not that I am not a happy person because I am. I'm always laughing, smiling, joking around. But, I guess, it’s difficult for me to pull from those good things and inject more positive images into my poetry.

Any thoughts? Suggestions? Similar issues?

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Yah Trick . . . Yah! (Politican Rant #2)

What has me in such a cantankerous mood that I'd quote that terrible Soulja Boy chorus, you ask?


"Say It Ain't So" Sarah!



I can't help but think that people inside the McCain camp are having some Homer Simpson moments!



Disclaimer:This is a rant. Love it or leave it. I am not a political analyst and I don't claim to know a whole lot about politics (I guess that's what me and SP have in common huh?). With that said, take nothing that you read in this post as "fact," other than the "fact" that it is my opinion. Want to know the facts? Research, like I did. My particular brand of humor and sarcasm may not be pleasing to everyone's pallette and that's okay-- I laugh at my own jokes, anyway. Enjoy!

McCain what were you thinking? I'll tell you what you were thinking . . . you saw a bunch of jaded Hillocrats running around trying to find somebody, hell anybody, to support instead of Obama and you decided to toss out some lipstick wearing bait to reel them in. You had them fooled at first, too! But you forgot that Sarah was going to have to open her mouth without a teleprompter in front of her. Well, I hope she gets regular pedicures because she's been tasting her toes ever since the RNC!

Did you think that the Hillocrats (read:Fanatic Hillary supporters. Friendly jibe, Scouts Honor!) were that stupid? Sen. Clinton and "Pitbull in Lipstick" Palin are nothing alike! Do you think all of these liberal Hillocrats were going to buy into Palin's conservatism? No one said it better than Amy Poehler as Hillary Clinton during one of the now infamous SNL skits!



Or better yet, did you think that women were stupid? You assumed that we'd vote for ya'll just because Sarah Palin is a woman? Why not pick a better woman for the job, if that was your aim? What about the other female governors? What about one of the women in the Senate? One of the women in the House of Representatives? What about Condeleeza Rice? (Well, I have a theory about why ya'll didn't tap Condi, but I'll save that for later). No, you picked Polar Bear Poachin' Palin, sight unseen, and it's just your luck that lemon laws don't cover political running mates. If you're going to be sexist atleast do it right!




All jokes aside, though, I am honestly offended by this. How dare you mar the history of women in the US by picking Piss Poor Palin? From this point on, no matter which way the election goes, she's going to be popping up in my children's history books as the first woman to be a vice presidential candidate for a major political party! As a woman, she embarasses me. That ol' "Don't mind me, I'm just a hockey mom . . . I don't know how you all work over there in Washington" routine is nothing short of being the "Damsel in Distress." Since when is it okay to not know anything? Since when is it a good debate tactic to avoid giving straight answers to questions during a debate (if you even answer at all)? Since when is it okay to shout out 3rd graders at a major political debate? Since when is it okay to be interviewed two respected journalists and not even be prepared with answers to simple, softball questions like "What newspapers and magazines do you read?" If she can't handle an interview, how is she going to handle meetings with foreign leaders? How do I trust the economy in her hands when she refers to the average american as Joe Six Pack? I'm sorry but she's going to need more than "folksy" sayings and rosey cheeks to get me to take anything she says seriously.


And since I mentioned the debate, let me say this. That thing was a masacre of epic proportions. Biden handled it like the skilled politician that he is. The winner was clear. Smokin Joe Biden was a clearly the victor! My favorite jab of the night? "Now That's What I call a bridge to nowhere."


I wonder if the folks in the media feel as ridiculous as they sound when they say that Palin won? lol. Sure, she did better than I expected but that's not saying much. I expected her to stare into the camera like a deer in headlights when asked to defend her positions but she didn't. Instead, she chose to ignore the debate all together and just read from her script just like her grandpa--oops, I mean McCain-- taught her. I wonder if they took her out to icecream when she was done? I think her performance was worth two scoops of sherbert!


Also, why is it okay for people to openly admit to supporting Palin because she is a woman, when if a black person even breathes the word Obama we're accused of only voting for him because he's black? There's black people out there right now that want to vote for Obama for sound reasons but won't because they're afraid of being labeled as an "Obamabot" that is voting based on color and not character. But, they can unapologetically target disgruntled Hillocrats and undecided women with their psuedo feminist Palin propganda and no one bats an eye? What gives?



The cout de grace for me, though, is how much everybody sqawked about Obama not being experienced enough yet they push this blaringly obvious inexperienced governor into the spotlight and call her a maverick! A MAVERICK? Give me a freakin break. If Obama acted the way that she does they'd laugh him out of town. Both parties would be screaming from the mountaintops that he needed to be pulled from the ticket.
But, no, Sweet Lil' Sarah is becoming the nation's sweetheart and they're letting her off easy . . . why? Because she's a woman. Yeah, I said it. If she was a man, they would never, in a million years, suggest that Biden use a soft approach with her during the debates. If she was a man, they would never have accepted her "folksy" quotes and winky wit. If Biden had ignored her like she had ignored Biden's brief emotional moment (as he recalled the accident that took his wife and daughter) he'd have a scarlet S (for sexist) on his chest right now . They're handling her with kid gloves because she is a woman. How patronizing and sexist of them!

Watching her is like watching a female soldier do "girl pushups"-- if you want to fight with boys then you need to flex like them, too!


Ok . . . i'm done . . . this concludes my second political rant. it really was fun . . . I laughed, I cried, I cranked that Soulja Boy on that [OH!] . . . lol.



Please keep your comments respectful. If your ideas differ from my own, that's fine. I welcome discussion and opposition.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

All the Cool People are doing it!

Back in 2004, I was super excited to vote Bush out of office until I realised that I was born after the election date and would only be 17 when the day rolled around. Bummer! But, now, at the ripe old age of 21, I will be able to cast my very first vote for US President. I've always tried to keep myself abreast of political issues and for the past year and a half I have fallen head first into politics, lol. My days are filled with the Cafferty File, Situation Room, Anderson Cooper 360, Hardball with Chris Matthews, Countdown with Keith Oldermann, and every other political show (except for those on FOX, way too conservative for my tastes). I will admit that sometimes the things they say fly over my head but when that happens, I go online and google what they said or I ask my dad (who is eating, drinking, and breathing politics these days, lol). I want my vote to be informed, not just because I like or dislike one of the candidates for reasons unrelated to leading the country (that's another blog in itself). I am a recnt college grad trying to enter the work force, go to grad school, and hopefully start a family within the next 8 years-- what happens in November matters to me!

Usually, I just stay out of political discussions because I know that (1)I'm still learning and I'd rather observe than argue, (2)I have a big mouth and (3) this election means alot to me and I may get carried away, lol. Then I thought, "Hey! I have a blog . . . isn't that what blogs are for?" and VOILA! my first blog on politics! Today's subject: Voting.


Vote or -- wait, why wouldn't you vote?


I must say that I am very disappointed in the amount of "political apathy" (in regards to voting) I've been seeing, reading, and hearing lately. Especially from young people and especially since it's been said time and time again that this election is in our hands as young people. It's not that I don't think people should have the right to be apathetic if they want to-- you don't have to give a damn about politics. But, please, be indifferent for a reason . . . and, please, let that reason make sense!

I present to you, a few very generalized reasons to not vote that I've run across And my very generalized responses.

  • "America's going to hell in a handbasket anyway so why vote?" WTF are you talking about? Seriously. lol
  • "It doesn't matter if we vote, they're going to elect who they want anyway" Who is this mysterious "they"? Are "they" the same as the ever ominous "the Man" from back in the 80s and 90s? lol. Let me help you put the conspiracy theories to rest-- "they" = "us", if you vote.
  • "I don't like the government-- so I'm not going to Vote." Don't like the government? Change it.Vote.

  • "I don't want anyone to blame me when the candidate I vote for becomes the next pisspoor president-- so I'm not going to vote." Not voting to avoid accountability is such BS. Please believe that you, probably more than anyone else, will be held accountable if you don't do anything to stop us from getting another piss poor president. Sure, there are a few Bush supporters that regret their decision but being wrong is the risk you take when you form an opinion about something, lol. So, if you don't avoid forming an opinion on things in everyday life then why are you doing that in regards to the election? Vote and stop BSing.

  • "I don't like McCain or Obama-- so I'm not going to Vote." I respect that. But don't forget that there are tickets other than Republicans and Democrats out there. Check out the myriad of other folks with thei hats in the ring for president. Don't lke them either? See how your state feels about write-ins and write in a candidates name that you like or, hell, write your own damn name, lol. And remember, on Nov 4th you'll be voting for more than just a president-- there will be props, senate seats, and other things up for grabs on this ballot that you should take a look at and consider.

  • "I just don't want to/don't care/don't feel like it." Fine. But before you sit home on November 4, think about all of the children, excons, mentally disable, immagrants, and other folks in your life that can't vote but are affected nonetheless by whats on those ballots and the administration to come. Do you care about them? Do you want what's best for them? Do you ever get into debates about abortion, education, reform, taxes, religion in schools, gay marriage, and other heavy topics? Well, get into this big debate and cast you vote on these issues and for people who think like you do. For minorities and women, I'm sure that the folks that faught for our right to vote didn't feel like protesting and fighting either but they did. Now, all you have to do is vote. Painless.

If you have a reason for not voting that makes sense, then by all means-- don't vote. I have stumbled across a few folks in blogs, on youtube, and other forums that have had some pretty good reasons for not voting. Their decision is a very informed one. And that's all I ask. Unfotunately, more times than not I see people saying they're not voting for variations of the above reasons and it just makes no sense to me.

But, I must be honest with everyone-- If you don't vote, then I can't hear you. I have turned a deaf ear to nonvoters. I don't want to hear you complaining about the government, taxes, schools, roads, buildings, wages, racism, sexism, ageism, etc. if you don't excercise your right to vote. I am establishing a "Did you vote?" policy whenever somebody brings these things up. And if your answer doesn't suit my pallette then the discussion is done, lol.

Seriously, though, please understand that . . .


Your VOTE is your VOICE and if you don't use it, no one can hear you.


I don't care who you vote for or what you vote for. . . . just vote. It's such a simple act. It's free, it's painless, you even get a pretty sticker when you're done! Don't want to waste the gas? Sign up for an absentee ballot before it's too late. Don't mind going to the polls but don't want to encounter the long lines and/or rush? A few states have early voting polls set up. Haven't registered? You can do so online.Click the following banner!


Register to Vote at Rock the Vote


Ok, ya'll, that ends my political rant for today . . . hope I didn't offend anybody and if I did, I have to ask, "Are you voting?" LOL.

Note: These are the political ramblings of Bsquared86 and the sole opinion of Bsquared86. They are not and do not reflect the opinions of anyone else. Bsquared86 could quite frankly give a damn about whether you agree or disagree and will not be swayed from her stance. But, a little discussion ain't never hurt nobody, lol, so if you would lke to comment, please keep your comments respectful or they will be deleted.