Bsquared86

Happy Birthday to Me! 24!

2010-11-25T01:50:00.001-08:00

It's my Kobe year . . . 24 years old!

Bsquared takes a tumble

2010-07-17T01:03:00.001-07:00

*whistles*

LAKE SHOW! WE DID IT AGAIN!

2010-06-18T03:30:00.000-07:00

Busy Work

2010-02-03T02:37:00.000-08:00

I hate busy work . . . we all k now what that is . . . we were given it in grade school . . . color by numbers . . . vocabulary word searches . . . writing definitions multiple times . . . in high school we had reading summaries and worksheets . . . and that's where busy work should have stayed. In K-12 . . . it should not be in the college classroom.

THIS IS COLLEGE!

I'm sitting here looking at this pile of busy work that i must "grade" as a Teacher's Assistant . . . and it's pissing me off. Why am I grading someones NOTES? They're notes! These are grown ups . . . if they can't take satisfactory notes by now then poo on them. Why am I wasting my time grading their scribble scrabble notes? Why am I grading someones essay brainstorm . . . it's a BRAINSTORM! FOR THEM! not for me! why do i care if they properly connect this bubble to that bubble? Huh? It's their essay! Do you know how manny times I've coherently brainstormed an essay? probably never.

You know why I'm grading this crap? Because it's the BUSY work that they've set up for EVERY STUDENT taking this course (all sections . .. hundreds of students). It's what I like to call a factory syllabus . . . everyone follows it. Instead of focusing on just getting the essays done by whatever means suit the student, they must go through these steps that may or may not fit with their own personal writing process.

The essay stuff doesn't even bother me as much as the need to grade READING NOTES . . . huh? is this college? is it?

I have more to rant about but I suppose I will save those things for when the semester is over . . . lets just say, that this TA gig is going to be very interesting . . . having a rough start this time around.

A Look-a-Like?

2010-02-01T03:33:00.000-08:00

The new "it" thing to do on Facebook is to change your display pic to a celebrity that folks always tell you that you look like. I couldn't decide on just one . . . mostly becuase I have been told repeatedly that I look like both of these stunning actresses/musicians! So, I'll accept that I'm a great blend of both-- on the inside and out, I hope!

My first memory of being told that I look like Queen Latifah dates back to

elementary school. The latest would be Saturday night when a guy in my store told me that I was "just like Queen Latifah . . . with skin clear as glass." And he commenced to calling me Queen Latifah for the duration of his shopping experience.

The Jill Scott comparisons began quietly in the new millenium, lol. They really took off when I got to college. It could have been the way I wore/wear my hair? I don't know. But I'll take it!

Could it be that folks just say I look like these women because we're all plus sized and African American? Probably, lol. I've been told I look like Oprah and Monique, too (and I'll accept those as well, I think they're both gorgeous).

The most interesting part of this whole FB picture thing is actually looking at the "lookalikes" and REALLY seeing it . . . I have a few friends that are deadringers! lol. And, others like myself who don't quite see it but have heard it for so long they accept it lol.

WHO'S YOUR CELEB LOOK-A-LIKE?

and/or

EVER MEET SOMEONE WHO LOOKS LIKE YOU?

Happy Birthday MLK!

2010-01-18T03:52:00.000-08:00

Stevie Wonder's Happy Birthday, written as a tribute to Martin Luther King, Jr. years ago.

My absolute favorite picture of Martin and Coretta. May they both rest in peace.

"In a sense we have come to our Nation's Capital to cash a check. When the architects of our great republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir.

This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed to the inalienable rights of life liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given its colored people a bad check, a check that has come back marked "insufficient funds."

But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and security of justice."

[That was my favorite part of the "I Have a Dream Speech"]

The dream lives, in me.

Thank you, Dr. King.

DONATE DONATE DONATE Text HAITI to 9-0999 for $10 (REDCROSS.ORG) & YELE to 501501 FOR $5 DONATIONS (YELE.ORG)

Oh, Haiti!

2010-01-14T15:48:00.001-08:00

Praying for the safe return of fellow Howard University Alum and current NYU Doctoral student, Nathalie Pierre! [click for more on that story from ABC] [UPDATE: She is safe! Thank you for your prayers]

DONATE DONATE DONATE

I chose to DONATE to - Yele.org by Wyclef Jean and (seperately to) the Red Cross by texting HAITI to 9-0999

Beware of scammers! Only donate to relief efforts/programs/organizations that you trust!

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T00:31:00.000-08:00

I love holidays . . . period. But, I think I love Christmas most of all . . . so MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

One of my fave christmas commercials (from last year):

23 years? SAY WHAT?

2009-11-25T01:01:00.001-08:00

Happy birthday to me!

B-ROCKA!

2009-11-22T01:28:00.000-08:00

i used to stan for Brandy Norwood back in the day. I still do, kinda. To me she'll always be one of the greatest R&B artists out there.

Not too long ago she posted a youtube video of herself singing "Somewhere over the rainbow" a capella in her bathroom. It was a hit! Everyone loved it! She just posted a video of herself singing "Change is gonna come" a capella and i'm FLOORED again.

So, to be random . . . and breathe life back into this blog . . . here's her latest video . . .

Do you have a favorite artist? Share!

Writer's block . . .

2009-11-19T01:23:00.000-08:00

. . . is a bitch.

anybody got a spare poem i could borrow? lol.

FYI I'm saving all of my MFA/poetry talk for an end of the semester "recap" . . . so stay tuned . .
.

PEACE!

I'm not a Good Student . ..

2009-09-16T01:24:00.000-07:00

. . . but I play one 3 times a week.

Too bad I'm not as good at playing a good blogger, lol.

In short, my first 3 or so weeks of school have been great. I've already been overwhelmed, stressed, afraid, doubtful, hopeful, excited, anxious, giddy, and numb . . . but most of all, I've been writing! And that's whats most important to me.

No long essays. No research papers. No reader responses.

Just writing centered around my CRAFT. I definitely appreciate that.

The reading has been okay, I try to stay up on each assignment but in the event that i find myself behind on my reading I do my best to discuss what I DO know . . . so they won't look back later & say, "B didn't say anything all class . . . I wonder if she read?" lol. Oldest trick in the book but it saves me some time (and face)

Time, time, time . . . seems like I have time to do EVERYTHING but what i'm supposed to do. I have a habit of pushing things off until the last minute but now that I'm working and going to school, I really need to make better decisions with my time.

I started off strong . . . I would come right home and do my work/reading. I need to get back to that.

Well, that's all for now . . . tune in next time for adventures of a first time TA!

ciao.

Tomfoolery & Shenanigans: Throw'd TV

2009-08-25T01:53:00.000-07:00

My name is BSQUARED and I'm a youtube junkie . . . yes, it's true . . . I make rounds on youtube like folks flip thru TV stations, lol. But, that's ok . . . b/c it's free and I'm always thoroughly entertained!

For today's installment of Tomfoolery & Shenanigans, I bring you the good folks at Throw'd TV. I just ran across one of their videos on facebook & youtube'd them for more. Check out one of their latest videos

be sure to head over to their YT channell and comment, rate, and/or subscribe!

Loc'ing for Love! 1 Year Anniversary!

2009-08-18T23:01:00.000-07:00

Ok, so technically 8/11 was my one year Loc anniversary . . . but i just made the video today, lol. So . . . happy anniversary to my Locs!

Click here for the video! I've disabled embedding b/c natural hair videos tend to "travel", lol. Feel free to comment and rate! I'd appreciate it! Thanks in advance!

Can't believe it's been a year! WOOOT!

Grab a hard hat and watch your step . . .

2009-08-13T23:21:00.000-07:00

With the new school year approaching, I'm making some changes here at B Write Back . . . the first being a name change!

I've decided to keep the blog name simple and go with the url and my screen name, Bsquared86. I thought that a eponymous blog would be kind of wierd when I first started off but now that the blog is about more than just my journey to grad school . . . it seems fitting! (don't worry . . . the URL is the same so your bloglists and other links are not affected).

If you haven't noticed, the color scheme has been revamped . . . no more black, pink, purple, and turquoise. I wanted to brighten it up and make it fun. I've decided to go with a Bumble Bee theme of black, yellow, and white w/ red accents. The bee in the header is inside of a square . . . get it? Bee-squared? *insert goofy laugh*

So, stay tuned . . . more changes to come . . . more posts to come . . . more Bsquared86!

Love Survives, So We Can Rock Forever

2009-06-26T04:10:00.000-07:00

And when the groove is dead and gone

you know that love survives

so we can rock forever!

-"Rock With You"

A Different B!

2009-06-05T15:03:00.000-07:00

I must apologize for my absence . . . twitter and youtube have sucked me and unfortunately my blog has suffered, but no worries! I am here to say! Writing is my love, I'll never abandon my blog!

Anyway, I'm coming to you all today with an announcement . . . its pretty big . . . I've started a new journey . . . not hair . . . not makeup . . . not MFA . . .

WEIGHT LOSS

Yeah, that's right . . . I'm on a weightloss journey! I will not list the details of the journey here (atleast not now) BUT I do have a brand-new Youtube channell dedicated to documenting that journey called "A Different B" in which I do weekly video updates on my weighins and random videos about the journey. I invite anyone interested to check out the videos, comment, rate, and subscribe but NO PRESSURE! The videos are serving as more of a way to keep me "accountable" and release my frustrations during the journey. Also, this is NOT a vanity channell . . . its me, raw and uncut . . . happy, sad, angry . . . no glamour, no glitz! LOL. So brace yourselves.

Here's a link to my lastest video (posted yesterday)>> Week 2- A Different B

I'll be back later with another post about just what this journey entails, my feelings, updates, etc.

Thanks for sticking around! Be back soon with more posts!

au revoir.

Love is Luv: Sexy Blogger Award

2009-05-11T19:10:00.000-07:00

Back again, with another blog award! This one was passed on to me by my twitter friend Chanel from The Fly Mommie! It took me awhile to do this post because my initial reaction was, "Sexy? ME?" lol. Thanks again, Chanel!

Rules: List 5 things about yourself that are sexy and then tag 5 others.

Hmmm . . . this is going to be a toughy, ya'll know how humble I am . . . right? ;)

My eyes (wide, a bit different . . . usually flawlessly made up!)

My lips (representing for the full lipped sistas!)

My hair (I cannot tell you how many guys have randomly complimented my hair and/or tried to sneak a feel . . . loc'd ladies are in! lol)

My boobs (well, yeah . . . ya'll get it lol)

My legs (in my fave pair of stacked pumps? hello, calves! lol)

Who's tagged? ALL OF YOU! I read so many blogs by so many FABULOUS people, that I couldn't pick just five!

FINALLY!

2009-05-07T11:24:00.000-07:00

For those of you new to Be Write Back, way back in January I made a "to do" list of things I wanted to accomplish in 2009. The very first item on the list was a . . .

DRIVER'S LICENSE

yes, yes, it's true . . . I'm 22 years old, living in a large metropolitan city . . . and I did not have a license. Yes, it sucked to not have a license all of this time, lol.

I took my behind-the-wheel test on April 24th and I failed . . . I wasn't terrible, I just made a "critical error" *inserteyeroll*. I wanted my license that day not only for myself but to surprise my father for his birthday. It totally sucked to return home with no license. So, after being down on myself for a while, I mustered up the courage to schedule another test. And, I . . .

PASSED

Now, who's going to buy me a car? lol

I Lay My MAC Down: Good Girl Gone Bad

2009-04-29T00:06:00.000-07:00

I enterd my very first Makeup Challenge last week! WOOT! It was very fun. The theme was Good Girl Gone Bad and we had to do two looks (one good, one bad girl) that contrasted each other. The other ladies that entered did wonderul jobs and the winner's looks were amazing! I peeked at the polls and it looks like I got the second highest votes so I'm very honored!

Anyway, here are my looks . . . click the pics to see what products were used and such.

Good Girl- Neutral with a POP!

I never really do neutral eye looks, because I'm not good at them, lol. But, I wanted my "good girl" to look innocent and soft so I took a stab at it anyway. I also wanted it to be playful, so I added the pop on the lower lashline.

Bad Girl- Supercheetahcateyelicious

I've never warn a red lip before because I don't really have a red lipstick that I like. And also because people always condition full lipped gals like me to steer clear of bold lips (which is BULL because I think full lips look best in bold colors, but hey, that's me). I had to kind of "create" this color, you'll see what I mean if you click the pick for the product list. Also, I'm not big on eyeliner and I always have trouble doing winged liner but I decided to just go for it. It worked out SUPER well. I wanted to wear this look out that day but I knew I had to do my Good Girl look, so I had to say good bye, lol. I added the cheetah/leapard spots on the right eye to add drama.

This was tons of fun! Especially the mini photoshoot I launched into to create my entry, lol. I can't wait to see what the new challenge will be! Thanks to all that voted for me (if you read journeyed outside of BHM to read my blog, lol).

Luv is Love: Kreativ Blogger Award! [picheavy]

2009-04-26T05:53:00.000-07:00

I am very honored and humbled to announce that fellow blogger and poet Kimberly from The Possibility of Being has given me the "Kreativ Blogger Award!" Wow, wow, wow!

This was such a surprise and I am so very pleased! Be sure to go check out Kimberly's NaPoWriMo offerings! My favorite is Grandpa!

The award comes with a few responsibilities:

Post the award on your blog and link to the person who gave you the award.
List seven things you love.
Pass it on! List seven blogs you love and let those people know you’ve given them the award.

7 Loves (a little random sillyness)

Winnie the Pooh

My alma mater

My Godson

My phone

Photo Editing

Lakers

Twitter

7 Bloggers I'm Passing the Award To!

**click pic to go to blog!**

and everybody participating in

Oh, and no one is OBLIGATED to pass this on or anything like that! Just a fun little thing to show you all how much I enjoy your little piece of blogland!

Peace.

A look back in Hairstory!

2009-04-02T02:18:00.000-07:00

This past sunday (3/29) was the anniversary of me deciding to rock nappy hair full throttle (i.e. my nappiversary). I realised that a lot of folks got a chance to witness my nappy and loc'd journey but not many know that I used to be a press'n'curl girl (NO RELAXER!!). Of course it's all on my fotki but I know that some folks just go straight to the new loc stuff so I decided to compile a little collage basically depicting my hair changes from Fall 2003 to Spring 2008 . . .

(1) High School Senior 03-04 (2-3)College Freshman 04-05 (4) College Sophmore w/ Highlights 05 (5) College Sophmore w/ allover light color 06 (6-7) College Junior w/ black rinse 06-07 (8) College Senior 07-08 (9) College Senior Big Chop w/ a fro 08

I guess you can say that this is an ode to my beloved press'n'curl, I've been missing it a little lately. That's all I knew from age 6 to age 21 and I wore it well, lol. I just really wanted a change. I didn't cut my hair because it was damaged or looked crazy or anything like that . . . I actually just cut it randomly after watching Tracie Mae's big chop video one weekend. I had a dream that I went to graduation w/ a teeny-weeny-afro and it felt right . . . so I decided to go ahead and snip off the ends of my hair where the curl had loosened from constant heat styling so I could rock one! To my suprise, I was left with a LOT of hair . . . I only cut like .5" to 1.5"off. And I didn't even end up going to graduation w/ a fro . . . I had kinky twists, lol.

For a look at my journey up to my big chop click here!! Better resolution pics and more detailed descriptions of styles/experiences.

Don't get me wrong, ,ya'll . . . I LOVE MY LOCS! I LOVE 'EM I LOVE 'EM I LOVE 'EM! lol But, sometimes it feels good to reminisce . . . I can't wait to see what happens in the many years to come with my hair. Thanks for joining me on this trip down memory lane!

Open Letter: Parents w/ Small Children

2009-03-31T00:24:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've been ranting a lot on twitter . . . so I've decided to start a section here on the blog called "Open Letters: To Whom It May Concern" . . . This will expand beyond rants, of course. I plan to share other "Open Letters" to people/things that may be serious, funny, wacky, etc. Nothing is meant to offend, but if you're offended maybe you should take a step back and think about that, lol. We shall see! This first is a semi-serious a rant . . .

To Parents w/ small children:

What happens when I accidentally knee little Timmy Toddler in the face and tip over his buggy because his mommy thought it was okay to plow into my ankle and calf? I hope we never have to find that out. Pushing a stroller does not give you the right to bulldoze through crowds of people without uttering a simple "excuse me" or "pardon us." Not only are you using your child's stroller as a weapon but you are exposing your precious cargo to the possibolity of being toppled over or smacked by flailing limbs/packages! What are you thinking? Do you not care for your child's safety? Sure, I give strollers the right away whenever I can but don't push it! Literally.

Also, I do not need your little tike under my elbow while I'm shopping, eating at a restaurant, or at the register checking out. Seriously, for your child's safety, you need to keep a better eye and handle on them. I could be a freaking kidnapper . . . why are you letting them get so comfortable with a stranger!? Move their little behind before I have to say something because I will only speak to them once ("Excuse me, sweetie.") with my nice lady voice. After that, it's going to be stern and please do not come at me crazy because I have no problem going there with you in front of your child. You can explain to them what those words meant when you get home.

--the girl hit w/ a stroller and consequently fell into a sales associate and a display table and also almost smacked a little girl in the face with a shopping bag because she was under her elbow

I Lay My MAC Down: St. Patty's Day Look (kinda-sorta)

2009-03-23T16:20:00.000-07:00

So, I didn't wear green on St. Paddy's day . . . if I'd known my mother would pinch me, maybe I would have, lol. I'd planned to rock green eyeshadow but I got lazy and didn't do it.

Well, I through a bit o'green into my makeup look the next day . . .

Nothing special . . . fairly neutral except for the green. I've been in a makeup rut lately. I used to do wacky, crazy, bold looks every day last year but these days I just don't feel like experimenting. I've been lurking around Specktra.net checking out their FOTDs and tutorials, hoping to find some inspiration. Maybe spring will bring new looks for me.

Note: If you're reading this as a blog feed and not on the actual blog, then the new graphic looks a little wacky to you, lol. It's best seen on the blog w/ the black background. Just thought I'd mention it.

On this day, one year ago . . .

2009-03-09T10:21:00.000-07:00

I made my first post here on "B Write Back" on March 9, 2008 . . . here we are, one year later . . . alot has changed!

Happy Birthday

B WRITE BACK!!

I just want to take a moment and thank

every single person that has commented on a post here

all of the friends/followers in the "In Crowd"

folks that have added B Write Back to their blog list

and people that lurk around and read

When I started this blog a year ago, I had no idea that anybody would read it. I didn't even make a second post until a few months later, lol. Whenever I see a new person added to the "friends/followers"list . . . I get excited! And when I see new comments here, I get down right GIDDY! lol. I know that sounds silly but for a newbie blogger, those things mean ALOT!

So, thank you onc again for reading and supporting B Write Back! I look forward to many more years with you all!

Be on the lookout for more changes and new posts!

Writing Music

2009-02-23T14:59:00.000-08:00

Some people have "riding music" that they listen too when they're on the way to work, to school, to parties, or just for a leisurely drive. The music soothes and calms them as they tackle traffic or monotonous high way. Or, it may get them excited and pumped, ready to take on the world or party their hardest. Unfortunately, my lack of a personal mode of transportation prevents me from having "riding music" since I don't get to "ride" anywhere. LMAO.

My iTunes/iPod has about 4400 songs and I can honestly say that I listen to atleast 90% of everything there plus a bunch of other music that I have been too lazy to add to my itunes from their CD format. So, anyone can see that I love music. I listen to music while I do everything in life . . . thanks to my iPod. So, it would only make since that there are certain pieces of music that I prefer to listen to while doing the activity that serves as my bread and butter . . .

Writing Music

Right now, my favorite album to listen to when I'm trying to write these SOPs and poems for my manuscript is

Adele's 19 . . . OMGoodness! I loooove this album, especially "Daydreamer" and "Melt My Heart to Stone (video version). I saw her perform on SNL and a couple of other shows and I liked her sound. After her performance at the Grammy Awards I went to itunes to see how much her album was and it was only $7.99! SEVEN NINETY-NINE? Are you kidding me? So, I bought it. The best $7.99 I've spent in years.

What songs/albums do you listen to when you drive? write? read? paint? draw? excercise? do your hair? walk? LOL Anything special?

Leave a comment or post your own "____ Music" on your blog . . . be sure to drop me a comment to let me know if you do, so I can check out your list!

One Month Later . . .

2009-02-20T15:06:00.000-08:00

. . . and I'm still celebrating. . .

. . . but working hard, too.

Happy One Month of Obama Day!

Bsquared86 Overload & Overhaul

2009-02-18T23:22:00.000-08:00

OVERLOAD

In case you didn't notice, directly above the posts we have a new section called "Bsquared86 Overload." What is it? It's my twitter updates! Want to catch up to the minute MFA updates? Loc Updates? Mid-day rants? Music raves? Random Babble? Take a peek at the Bsquared86 Overload or, better yet, follow me on Twitter!

I joined Twitter at the urging of one of my friends and now I'm hooked. It's like bite-size blogging, lol. I don't always have time to blog but twitter is literally at my fingertips 24/7 (thanks to my handy dandy I-phone).

I started to just get a personal twitter account for fam and friends but I decided to make it open, using my blog screenname, because I want to hear from YOU!

Yes, you!

you, at your work desk, sneaking on to blogspot . . .
and you, in the campus computer lab lollygagging when you should be writing a paper . . .
and you, newly natural/loc'd beauty or makeup newbie searching for tips . . .
and you, aspiring MFA student that checks your email every 5 minutes and answers every strange phone number with a bright and cheery voice . . .

I want to here from all of you!

I want to talk to you . . . hear how your day is going . . . answer your questions . . . laugh at your fave youtube video . . . and stay up to date with your various projects and journeys. So come on over to Twitter and make yourself comfortable. If you're already on there, send me a message!

OVERHAUL

If you've been around this little piece of the blogosphere in the past couple of days then I'm sure you've noticed that my blog look has changed quite a bit.

I loved my old pink-zebra background and smiling title banner/thingy but it was time for it to go! The pink wasn't rocking my socks anymore and the narrow page layout made pic croppin/resizing a pain. I was also tired of looking at myself with my TWA (read:teeny-weeny afro) when I've been loc'ing for 6 months now (WOOT!). So, yeah . . . I needed a change.

First, I was in love with a turquoise background but it didn't feel crisp enough (if that makes sense) and then I settled for a white background . . . but the white was a bit too bland. So, I decided to go back to black. It's easier on the eyes (and wattage, according to Blackle) and makes me feel all sleek and chic (ok . . . that was corny . . . I'm sorry, lol).

As usual . . . the banner was created by ME and I hope that you will respectfully leave it where it is (swiper, no swiping!).

Stay tuned for a few other structural changes . . . I'm currently at work on the sidebar . . . it feels both cluttered and empty to me, lol.

How do you like the new look? Hate it? Love it? Miss the old? Good riddance? Any suggestions? Helpful HTML tips? Leave me a comment or tweet me on twitter!

What 6 months look like . . .

2009-02-14T22:54:00.000-08:00

I started my loc journey on August 11, 2008 and on February 11, 2009 I officially completed 6 months of loc'ing and began my 7th month.

I'm so excited! I can really see the changes! WOOT!

For more comparison shots please click here.

For more loc journey pics please click here.

For pictures of my hair before locs (straight & nappy) click here.

Have any milestones coming up in your own life?

PLEASE SHARE in the comments!

Way more information than you need to know . . .

2009-01-29T00:46:00.000-08:00

But, hey, why not?

I'm bored and in an effort to post regularly . . . I want to share this with you all!

Facebook runneth over with these "25 random things aout me" notes and I've decided that I want to post my list (edited where I deem necessary) here for my beloved readers, especially the "In Crowd!"

25 Random things about Bsquared86

I love "novelty" and line dances (i.e. The Heisman, Cupid Shuffle, Stanky Leg, Dutty Wine, Cha Cha Slide, Crank that _____, Electric Slide, etc.)
My ears haven't been pierced for years (and I don't plan on piercing them). I had them pierced when I was like 9 and on my 11th birthday I got the precious gift of a doctors visit to start treatment on my keyloids . . . oh joy! Me & my clip on earrings enjoy life keyloid free!
Writing the essays for my grad school apps make me feel stupid sometimes. . . do I even have a degree in english? lol. They're so hard!
I have seen every episode of Fresh Prince, Cosby Show, A Different World, and Roseanne . . . but I will watch them everytime they come on and probably curse at you if you interrupt my viewing. You may already know that I love certain TV shows, though.
I get embarassed for other people . . . hard to explain . . . but if someone on TV is about to embarass themselves I'll probably change the channell. It's wierd, I know.
I do not have a job. I am not in grad school. I am doing nothing with my life other than filling out grad school apps right now. I'll be working by spring though. (so stop asking! . . . just kidding . . . maybe . . . not really, lol.)
I talk really fast and I talk alot . . . wait, my bad . . . ya'll know that (in the case of blog readers, you all see that I can get a bit longwinded in my posts)
I get super excited when spellcheck doesn't find any errors.
My conscience is SUPER LOUD, lol. I am naturally predisposed to doing the right thing. Sorry, no bad-ass here lol. That's why I'm so nice . . . not because I like everyone, but because I just don't have it in me to be meanspirited. Good girls finish first!
I cry easily . . . be they happy or sad times, the tears will come!
I have a thing about collecting paper napkins from random places in my purse . . . I don't know why . . . *hangs head in shame*
Wikipedia is my number one source for information.
I do not drink and I never will . . . yeah, never . . . not even on special occassions . . . not even if the drink tastes like red koolaid . . . not even if I won't be able to "feel" the alcohol
Everytime I see a commercial for a movie that's up for an Oscar I get mad because Seven Pounds isn't up for any. I mean COME ON!
My entire room has been pink for my entire life . . . and I have not liked it . . . the entire time, lol. First bubblegum pink and now hot pink . . . thank my dad for that!
Inside jokes are the BEST jokes . . . but only when I'm in on them!
People keep coming to me with problems (both trivia questions and life issues) because I went to college . . . NEWSFLASH: I am neither an encyclopedia nor am I Dr. Phil. But, I help them anyway, with a smile, because I am a nice person and I usually do have an answer to their trivia and advice for their life issues. Lol.
I am such a packrat and my room is always junky. I fear that one day Neicy Nash and the Clean House crew will show up at my door lol. And if they do I know who called them (NuDiva85!)
I was voted Most Likely to Succeed in Middle School and High School . . . DAMN, THE PRESSURE! lol
I don't like scary movies . . . I don't care how silly or funny they may be to you . . . I don't even like commercials for scary movies . . . and I don't care how grown I may get . . . I never will. I don't see what's fun about scaring the shit out of yourself. Nope, I don't.
I curse . . . sometimes . . . alot . . . lol. It's my only vice . . . that and my coca cola addiction!
It feels weird not being at my undergad institution. I haven't quite adjusted to the fact that I won't be back there for a while and when I do go back I'll just be a visitor :(
I want to have a bunch of kids . . . a few of my own and a few adopted.
I play Monopoly on my iPhone more than I actually talk on it. This game is ADDICTIVE!
I have fotki photo albums where I document my hair journey (from 2004 till now) and makeup experiments. I wore my hair pressed/flatironed straight all of my life until last march. I kind of miss my straight hair, sometimes. But I love my locs!

For the record EVERYONE is tagged! Drop your list (or justa few random things about yourself) in the comment section or on your blog . . . let me know if you do so I can go check it out!

Comma Sense!

2009-01-24T04:27:00.000-08:00

Hey ya'll! Been a while . . . I have a few posts that I need to get on out here a little later. I'm just trying to stay focused on these grad apps right now. People are already reporting admission decisions and such over at the MFA Blog and that has me super pumped to crank these babies out.

Anyway, I had to break away from writing/revising my statement of purpose and staring glossy-eyed at my manuscript to say this . . .

~~HATE~~

STRONGLY DISLIKE

COMMAS

*poundsheadagainstkeyboard*

Seriously . . . they get on my last nerve. Either I'm using too many or not enough!

I have failed papers because of comma usage. My content would be great, word choice good, research well done and BAM I'd get a gazillion points off for comma splices. Because of this, I find myself constantly second guessing my writing based solely upon my use of the comma.

This is ridiculous . . . I have a degree . . . IN ENGLISH! Why can't I use a comma correctly? I've had professors give me extra attention when it comes to comma usage- worksheets, guides, after class office time. NOTHING WORKED! These stupid comma's just won't stick!

I know that you're thinking, "This chick is nuts . . . she's having a fit over commas? what a nerd!" And you are right! These commas are driving me mad, MAD I SAY!

That's why I love poetry . . . If I want to totally abandon punctuation, I can! (in my mind:should that comma be there before "I can"?) And I do! I rarely use punctuation or capitalization in my poetry . . . I like it better that way. It feels more natural and less contrived. But, that's another story all together I suppose.

Back to my SOPs . . . au revoir

_____________________________________________________

Head on over to Essence Magazine's "Will You Marry Me 2009" contest and vote for Rashad & Andrea! http://www.essence.com/packages/willyoumarryme/vote.html

Bye Bye 08!

2009-01-04T17:58:00.001-08:00

This post is loooong overdue! I was out of town for about 2 weeks, so I have major "post backup." Bear with me!

2008 was a great year! Two simply INCREDIBLE things happened- I graduated from college and Barack Obama won the election. The only thing that would have made the year any more complete was the Lakers winning the championship but, hey, you can't win em all!

2008 was a stressful year with rollover stress from 07 but I refuse to let anything that stressed me out in 2008 rollover into 2009. Alot of those things that stressed me were things that I couldn't control(and they often overshadowed things that I could control). This year, I am focusing on what I can control and going after those goals first (and saving my worry lines for them, lol).

So . . . here's my 'to do' list for 2009

Driver's Licence- Yes, it's true . . . I am a grownass woman with no liscence. Don't ask why, don't ask how. Just know that I WILL have my licence soon.
In conjunction with the aformentioned . . . some WHEELS! I'm thinking a VW Beetle or a Mini Cooper . . . I love little cars!
TURN IN COMPLETE GRAD SCHOOL APPLICATIONS!!! The calarts app is due tomorrow and what do I have ready? NOT A DAMN THING! No use wasting time lamenting my mistakes! And then there were 6 . . .
Job/Work/Employment- I'm contemplating going back to my summer retail gig. Hours are being cut way down these days but HEY it's money. We'll see. I do not, do not, DO NOT want to be on the bus in this city which is why it is IMPERATIVE that I get my licence quick fast and in a hurry so I can cash in that vehicular IOU the parentals gave me.
Visit my good friend Ms. Brown in her new city! Even though we always lived just a few blocks from eachother in SoCal I didn't meet her until I traveled to teh opposite end of the country for college! And now she's moved out of state *sad face* but I will be visiting in a couple of months *smile*.
Get involved in my community. I really want to get involved in some type of adult literacy initiative. Know of any in SoCal? Let me know!
Keep in contact with folks! I have friends from school that I owe phone calls from the fall and a mentor from high school that I haven't spoken to in ages. *hangs head in shame* But in 09 that shall change!
Write regularly and seriously! If I'm going to be a writer I need to write more,point blank.

I would add "get into grad school" to the list but I have accepted that "getting in" is not so much in my control as putting my best foot forward with my application.

Anyway, that's my list as of right now. We'll check back with this in a few months and see how far I've gotten.

It's My Birthday!

2008-11-25T01:05:00.000-08:00

I've been 22 for the past hour and 7 minutes . . . it feels good!

I am so thankful for another year!

Black is the New President

2008-11-04T23:39:00.000-08:00

I, too, sing America.

I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.

Tomorrow,
I'll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody'll dare
Say to me,
"Eat in the kitchen,"
Then.

Besides,
They'll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed--

I, too, am America.

--Langston Hughes, "I, too, sing America"

Happy dance provided by "Ain't No Stoppin Us Now" by Luther Vandross

Greenlight! (MFA Update)

2008-10-29T04:04:00.000-07:00

So, I asked 4 professors for recommendations a few weeks ago. 3 responded immediately (w/ a yes!). A couple of a weeks later I got a response from the fourth and she said

Huh? Say what now? As I read the email my heart started racing, anxiety started creeping, and my eyes started welling. I thought I was about to have a freaking panic attack.

Am I in the Twighlight Zone?

Yes, ya'll . . . she said no! Well, actually she said to ask someone else. But, hey, I know a "no" when I see a "no," lol.

I had to let this marinate for a few days.

I knew that it would be in my best interest not to respond to her immediately. I also knew that I had to respond. I went through a myriad of emotions- kind of like a break up. Outrage, denial, fear, hurt. Then, finally, acceptance. Her reasons for saying no were understandable- she has a criteria for recommending folks and, unfortunately, the last time I had her I fallen short. But, since I'd had her many times over the years and she knew me at my best and worst,

so even if you she couldn't rave about me as a student she could atleast mention my potential.

Right?

I sent her a reply as honest as her "no" because I had nothing to lose at this point. I admitted that I was not and probably will never be the best student. Told her what had been going on with my last year of undergrad, conceded that in the end I was just trying to graduate. But, I wanted her to understand that I love writing more than anything and that's why I'm pursuing the MFA. Thanked her and said I'd see her the next time I was around my alma mater.

A couple of hours later I had a "yes" w/ conditions.

She agreed to do a couple of my recs, but only those that didn't require a form. She didn't want to have to fudge any details about me as a student; just play up my strengths. Fine with me! lol.

So, all 4 were asked and all 4 said yes. This morning I sent out emails with basic info about myself and soon they will each reieve a package from me (Thanks to advice over at the MFA Blog, I decided to make this rec process as easy as posible for them by providing postage, envelopes, and forms).

Let the happy dancing commence, courtesy of John Legend's "Greenlight"

Oh, also, I was thinking about ways to thank them for helping me . . . what should I do? A thank you note doesn't seem personal enough. I saw mention on the MFA Blog about somebody sending their recommendors a copy of their favorite book. Well, I don't really have a fave book. I do, however, have a book that may have singlehandedly inspired me to write poetry in the first place. It's obscure and out of print. To amazon I go!

Love Loc'down!

2008-10-21T00:36:00.000-07:00

I forgot to mention in my last post that October 11th was also my

2 month LOCaversary!

as usual, join me in my happy dance

Yes, ladies and lads . . . this will be my 3rd month in my journey to loc'dom. How exciting?! Here's a comparison shot of my progress since my 1st retwist on 8/17 and my 5th retwist on 10/15.

Isn't nappy hair amazing? I mean, seriously. Something is happening atop this head of mine that is special and powerful!

I decided to adopt the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy for my hair though. If people don't ask me if I'm loc'ing then I don't tell em- simple as that. I'm just not in the mood for any long conversations about it or any questions.

I've basically been natural all of my life (more about that on my fotki "About Me" page, check it out) but I was getting my hair pressed from age 6 until last March. Rocking a fro this summer, I encountered jokes, questions, and just a few drippings of disdain about my hair. Everybody pretty much accepted this new nappy-all-the-time Bsquared but I know that a few of them are waiting for me to get over this phase and press this wilderness out, lol. Mostly because they're just used to me having (kinda) long, straight hair. (Click here to see the old me.)

Anyway, I always knew that I wanted to loc my hair one day and, just how I woke up one day and decided to stop pressing my hair, I decided to start loc'ing my hair. I am a DIYer-- I started my own fingercoils and I do all maintenance myself. For the first time I have total control over my hair. If I want to wake up tomorrow and comb these suckas out, I will. No money lost and nobody's time but my own.

Back to this "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy. A week or so ago, a lady stopped us in a parking lot and asked who maintained my locs, offering me her card. I panicked for a minute, thinking "Damn, lady, you just outted me in front of my mom!" but when my mother didn't mention anything I thought that either she didn't hear the lady clearly or didn't care. Anyway, today, we saw S. Epatha Merkerson (the black supervisor on Law & Order) on a commercial with her oft-hidden-under-a-wig locs showing. And my mom said, "Look, she's rocking her locs!" and I said "Me, too!" and pulled at a few of mine. Apparently, my mom had concluded that their were two types of locs- the kind you can take out (really coils) and the kind that you can't (actual locs). Eventually, I ended up telling her that, yes, I had coils but now I'm loc'ing.

"You're going to loc your hair?"

"I am loc'ing my hair. See?" pulling a couple out so she can see

"So, you know that if you don't want those anymore, you have to cut all ya hair off!"

"No, I don't. I can just take my time and comb them out. I mean, I can cut my hair off but all that doesn't matter b/c I plan on having these for a long time."

I gave her a quick explanation about how not all of the hair locs at once and how I just retwist the bases, etc. She looked a little confused but not bothered. YAY! One parent down, one parent to go. She was the most important one for this particular change, though. My dad is bald . . . hair issues aren't his area. But, my mom-- I care about what she thinks. My whole plan was to just get them used to my hair like this. I started rocking coils back in July, I'd coil my hair and after a week I'd rock a coil out. And they both like it, I even coiled my moms hair one day. I just wanted them to be comfortable with my hair like this-- I wanted them to approach it like just another hairstyle without clouding their judgement with their preconcieved notions about locs like thinking they're nasty or unruly or smelly or ugly or _________. And, I think it went well.

One small step for loc'dom, one leap for nappiness everywhere! Ok, that was corny . . . sorry.

See more pics of my hair journey- from a press'n'curl to a fro to locs- at public.fotki.com/bsquared86.

Oh . . . wait . . . don't leave! COME BACK!

You can thank the great Yeezy for the post title. "Love Lockdown" is his first single from his upcoming album. Peep the video below. It's kind of wierd to me. I expected something a la Glow In the Dark Tour.

Do ya'll like it? Let me know in the comments.

Stay tuned for an MFA update/post soon!

Finding My Happy Place + Manuscript Madness

2008-10-16T01:50:00.000-07:00

Friday marked the 9th anniversary of my maternal grandmother's passing but I can still remember October 11, 1999 like it was yesterday. When I think of my life and my family, I tend to regard it as "Before she died" and "After she died" because so much changed with that single event, including my writing. Honestly, I didn’t even know that I was that close to my grandmother—I lived in Cali and she lived down south. I’d been traveling down there to visit her and other members of my family since I was about 2 months old and then, while I slept, she was gone.

I don’t know what to call what I went into when she died. A depression? Sounds way too harsh. I’ll just say I slipped into a little bit of darkness. Yeah, that’s it, darkness. I have a habit (that I’m trying to –scratch that- will break!) of slipping into darkness when bad things happen. I put on a smiley face and go through life looking unscathed but inside it’s all dark.

Anyway, when my grandmother died, poetry became such a release. I was able to pour out my feelings about her death. Things I couldn't say because I was supposed to be "strong" for everybody else. But, at 12, I wasn't strong enough . . . not at 13, not at 14 . . . hell, sometimes not at 21. Soon, I redirected that pain into other topics but they were all so sad and angry. And that’s what my poetry was, for a long time—sad and angry.

I kind of feel like Mary J. Blige—I do sad and angry so well that when I try to write about something else it feels foreign. Heart break, death, anxiety, abuse, deception, rejection—I reworked and twisted those things a million different ways. Didn’t help that I had a lot of hurt come my way to feed that fire—but that’s another blog, lol.

So, what does this have to do with applying to MFAs?

When I look back at the 300+ poems I’ve written since 1999, I feel like I’ve outgrown them. Okay, clearly, I’ve outgrown the really early ones, lol. But, even the more recent work doesn’t feel right. I don’t think they represent my potential and I don’t really want to include any of it in my manuscript (for applications).

In my CW classes this fall, I’ve written a variety of poems. None of them really give off warm and fuzzy feelings but I don’t necessarily want to write “warm and fuzzy” poems—I just want to be able to show that I’m versatile. Like, MJB, I want to show the people (including the MFA readers) that I can do nice and happy just as well as I do sad and angry, lol. I’ve tried, ya’ll, I mean really tried to write poetry that didn’t possess just a tinge of darkness. I can count those poems on just a few fingers and half of them were written about things that glittered like gold but ended up worth no more than a tin can, lol.

I’m the kind of poet that just lets the poem flow and go where it needs to go and say what it needs to say—I don’t force anything on it or start with any real plans. But, sometimes, if I’m writing and I feel myself slipping into a sour tone, I just stop. I know, I know . . . I should just let it flow. But, damn, it gets boring! And, I don’t always want to relive the pain it takes to make the voice real. You know what I mean?

Example:

I just wrote a poem about “Autumn.” Easy, right? It starts off nice—pretty colors of sunsets, football games, leaves falling. But, WHAM, suddenly it slips into not so nice stuff—poverty and decay. So, I stopped . . . I bumped that part to the bottom of my word doc and tried to begin that section again. But, nothing worked. So, I conceded and picked up where I left off. My prof and some classmates liked it. For me, it was bittersweet. I was proud of it but mad at it at the same time. I wish I could have written something else, but I don't know what else I could have written.

Oh, the passion of poetry!

It’s not that I am not a happy person because I am. I'm always laughing, smiling, joking around. But, I guess, it’s difficult for me to pull from those good things and inject more positive images into my poetry.

Any thoughts? Suggestions? Similar issues?

Yah Trick . . . Yah! (Politican Rant #2)

2008-10-04T07:41:00.000-07:00

What has me in such a cantankerous mood that I'd quote that terrible Soulja Boy chorus, you ask?

"Say It Ain't So" Sarah!

I can't help but think that people inside the McCain camp are having some Homer Simpson moments!

Disclaimer:This is a rant. Love it or leave it. I am not a political analyst and I don't claim to know a whole lot about politics (I guess that's what me and SP have in common huh?). With that said, take nothing that you read in this post as "fact," other than the "fact" that it is my opinion. Want to know the facts? Research, like I did. My particular brand of humor and sarcasm may not be pleasing to everyone's pallette and that's okay-- I laugh at my own jokes, anyway. Enjoy!

McCain what were you thinking? I'll tell you what you were thinking . . . you saw a bunch of jaded Hillocrats running around trying to find somebody, hell anybody, to support instead of Obama and you decided to toss out some lipstick wearing bait to reel them in. You had them fooled at first, too! But you forgot that Sarah was going to have to open her mouth without a teleprompter in front of her. Well, I hope she gets regular pedicures because she's been tasting her toes ever since the RNC!

Did you think that the Hillocrats (read:Fanatic Hillary supporters. Friendly jibe, Scouts Honor!) were that stupid? Sen. Clinton and "Pitbull in Lipstick" Palin are nothing alike! Do you think all of these liberal Hillocrats were going to buy into Palin's conservatism? No one said it better than Amy Poehler as Hillary Clinton during one of the now infamous SNL skits!

Or better yet, did you think that women were stupid? You assumed that we'd vote for ya'll just because Sarah Palin is a woman? Why not pick a better woman for the job, if that was your aim? What about the other female governors? What about one of the women in the Senate? One of the women in the House of Representatives? What about Condeleeza Rice? (Well, I have a theory about why ya'll didn't tap Condi, but I'll save that for later). No, you picked Polar Bear Poachin' Palin, sight unseen, and it's just your luck that lemon laws don't cover political running mates. If you're going to be sexist atleast do it right!

All jokes aside, though, I am honestly offended by this. How dare you mar the history of women in the US by picking Piss Poor Palin? From this point on, no matter which way the election goes, she's going to be popping up in my children's history books as the first woman to be a vice presidential candidate for a major political party! As a woman, she embarasses me. That ol' "Don't mind me, I'm just a hockey mom . . . I don't know how you all work over there in Washington" routine is nothing short of being the "Damsel in Distress." Since when is it okay to not know anything? Since when is it a good debate tactic to avoid giving straight answers to questions during a debate (if you even answer at all)? Since when is it okay to shout out 3rd graders at a major political debate? Since when is it okay to be interviewed two respected journalists and not even be prepared with answers to simple, softball questions like "What newspapers and magazines do you read?" If she can't handle an interview, how is she going to handle meetings with foreign leaders? How do I trust the economy in her hands when she refers to the average american as Joe Six Pack? I'm sorry but she's going to need more than "folksy" sayings and rosey cheeks to get me to take anything she says seriously.

And since I mentioned the debate, let me say this. That thing was a masacre of epic proportions. Biden handled it like the skilled politician that he is. The winner was clear. Smokin Joe Biden was a clearly the victor! My favorite jab of the night? "Now That's What I call a bridge to nowhere."

I wonder if the folks in the media feel as ridiculous as they sound when they say that Palin won? lol. Sure, she did better than I expected but that's not saying much. I expected her to stare into the camera like a deer in headlights when asked to defend her positions but she didn't. Instead, she chose to ignore the debate all together and just read from her script just like her grandpa--oops, I mean McCain-- taught her. I wonder if they took her out to icecream when she was done? I think her performance was worth two scoops of sherbert!

Also, why is it okay for people to openly admit to supporting Palin because she is a woman, when if a black person even breathes the word Obama we're accused of only voting for him because he's black? There's black people out there right now that want to vote for Obama for sound reasons but won't because they're afraid of being labeled as an "Obamabot" that is voting based on color and not character. But, they can unapologetically target disgruntled Hillocrats and undecided women with their psuedo feminist Palin propganda and no one bats an eye? What gives?

The cout de grace for me, though, is how much everybody sqawked about Obama not being experienced enough yet they push this blaringly obvious inexperienced governor into the spotlight and call her a maverick! A MAVERICK? Give me a freakin break. If Obama acted the way that she does they'd laugh him out of town. Both parties would be screaming from the mountaintops that he needed to be pulled from the ticket.

But, no, Sweet Lil' Sarah is becoming the nation's sweetheart and they're letting her off easy . . . why? Because she's a woman. Yeah, I said it. If she was a man, they would never, in a million years, suggest that Biden use a soft approach with her during the debates. If she was a man, they would never have accepted her "folksy" quotes and winky wit. If Biden had ignored her like she had ignored Biden's brief emotional moment (as he recalled the accident that took his wife and daughter) he'd have a scarlet S (for sexist) on his chest right now . They're handling her with kid gloves because she is a woman. How patronizing and sexist of them!

Watching her is like watching a female soldier do "girl pushups"-- if you want to fight with boys then you need to flex like them, too!

Ok . . . i'm done . . . this concludes my second political rant. it really was fun . . . I laughed, I cried, I cranked that Soulja Boy on that [OH!] . . . lol.

Please keep your comments respectful. If your ideas differ from my own, that's fine. I welcome discussion and opposition.

All the Cool People are doing it!

2008-09-27T04:02:00.000-07:00

Back in 2004, I was super excited to vote Bush out of office until I realised that I was born after the election date and would only be 17 when the day rolled around. Bummer! But, now, at the ripe old age of 21, I will be able to cast my very first vote for US President. I've always tried to keep myself abreast of political issues and for the past year and a half I have fallen head first into politics, lol. My days are filled with the Cafferty File, Situation Room, Anderson Cooper 360, Hardball with Chris Matthews, Countdown with Keith Oldermann, and every other political show (except for those on FOX, way too conservative for my tastes). I will admit that sometimes the things they say fly over my head but when that happens, I go online and google what they said or I ask my dad (who is eating, drinking, and breathing politics these days, lol). I want my vote to be informed, not just because I like or dislike one of the candidates for reasons unrelated to leading the country (that's another blog in itself). I am a recnt college grad trying to enter the work force, go to grad school, and hopefully start a family within the next 8 years-- what happens in November matters to me!

Usually, I just stay out of political discussions because I know that (1)I'm still learning and I'd rather observe than argue, (2)I have a big mouth and (3) this election means alot to me and I may get carried away, lol. Then I thought, "Hey! I have a blog . . . isn't that what blogs are for?" and VOILA! my first blog on politics! Today's subject: Voting.

Vote or -- wait, why wouldn't you vote?

I must say that I am very disappointed in the amount of "political apathy" (in regards to voting) I've been seeing, reading, and hearing lately. Especially from young people and especially since it's been said time and time again that this election is in our hands as young people. It's not that I don't think people should have the right to be apathetic if they want to-- you don't have to give a damn about politics. But, please, be indifferent for a reason . . . and, please, let that reason make sense!

I present to you, a few very generalized reasons to not vote that I've run across And my very generalized responses.

"America's going to hell in a handbasket anyway so why vote?" WTF are you talking about? Seriously. lol
"It doesn't matter if we vote, they're going to elect who they want anyway" Who is this mysterious "they"? Are "they" the same as the ever ominous "the Man" from back in the 80s and 90s? lol. Let me help you put the conspiracy theories to rest-- "they" = "us", if you vote.
"I don't like the government-- so I'm not going to Vote." Don't like the government? Change it.Vote.

"I don't want anyone to blame me when the candidate I vote for becomes the next pisspoor president-- so I'm not going to vote." Not voting to avoid accountability is such BS. Please believe that you, probably more than anyone else, will be held accountable if you don't do anything to stop us from getting another piss poor president. Sure, there are a few Bush supporters that regret their decision but being wrong is the risk you take when you form an opinion about something, lol. So, if you don't avoid forming an opinion on things in everyday life then why are you doing that in regards to the election? Vote and stop BSing.
"I don't like McCain or Obama-- so I'm not going to Vote." I respect that. But don't forget that there are tickets other than Republicans and Democrats out there. Check out the myriad of other folks with thei hats in the ring for president. Don't lke them either? See how your state feels about write-ins and write in a candidates name that you like or, hell, write your own damn name, lol. And remember, on Nov 4th you'll be voting for more than just a president-- there will be props, senate seats, and other things up for grabs on this ballot that you should take a look at and consider.
"I just don't want to/don't care/don't feel like it." Fine. But before you sit home on November 4, think about all of the children, excons, mentally disable, immagrants, and other folks in your life that can't vote but are affected nonetheless by whats on those ballots and the administration to come. Do you care about them? Do you want what's best for them? Do you ever get into debates about abortion, education, reform, taxes, religion in schools, gay marriage, and other heavy topics? Well, get into this big debate and cast you vote on these issues and for people who think like you do. For minorities and women, I'm sure that the folks that faught for our right to vote didn't feel like protesting and fighting either but they did. Now, all you have to do is vote. Painless.

If you have a reason for not voting that makes sense, then by all means-- don't vote. I have stumbled across a few folks in blogs, on youtube, and other forums that have had some pretty good reasons for not voting. Their decision is a very informed one. And that's all I ask. Unfotunately, more times than not I see people saying they're not voting for variations of the above reasons and it just makes no sense to me.

But, I must be honest with everyone-- If you don't vote, then I can't hear you. I have turned a deaf ear to nonvoters. I don't want to hear you complaining about the government, taxes, schools, roads, buildings, wages, racism, sexism, ageism, etc. if you don't excercise your right to vote. I am establishing a "Did you vote?" policy whenever somebody brings these things up. And if your answer doesn't suit my pallette then the discussion is done, lol.

Seriously, though, please understand that . . .

Your VOTE is your VOICE and if you don't use it, no one can hear you.

I don't care who you vote for or what you vote for. . . . just vote. It's such a simple act. It's free, it's painless, you even get a pretty sticker when you're done! Don't want to waste the gas? Sign up for an absentee ballot before it's too late. Don't mind going to the polls but don't want to encounter the long lines and/or rush? A few states have early voting polls set up. Haven't registered? You can do so online.Click the following banner!

Ok, ya'll, that ends my political rant for today . . . hope I didn't offend anybody and if I did, I have to ask, "Are you voting?" LOL.

Note: These are the political ramblings of Bsquared86 and the sole opinion of Bsquared86. They are not and do not reflect the opinions of anyone else. Bsquared86 could quite frankly give a damn about whether you agree or disagree and will not be swayed from her stance. But, a little discussion ain't never hurt nobody, lol, so if you would lke to comment, please keep your comments respectful or they will be deleted.

Overprotective + Enough is Enough

2008-09-23T07:12:00.001-07:00

First, thank you to everyone that has commented on my blog (all 4 of you!). You all have truly inspired me and kept me motivated! Sometimes I just come here and read your words and I feel better, honestly. Not many people understand what I'm trying to do here and it feels good to see that you do! I have become a major blog surfer these days and, of course, I read the blogs of those that comment here and I try to comment where I can. Special thanks to Blu, my most recent commenter, because one of her posts has inspired this one!

Overprotective

Okay, so . . . my UCLA ext. course starts on Wednesday . . . how exciting?! And nerve wracking!

My issue can basically be summed up to be STAGE FRIGHT . . . despite the lack of stage, lol. I have never liked exposing my poetry to the world. They're like my babies and I don't like the feeling of sending them out there, defenseless into this cruel and critical world! It took me a while to even post my poetry in my myspace blog (which has all but dried up over the past year or so) and I've only got one (count it- 1) poetry reading/spoken word experience under my belt. My only real experience with a workshop like setting was my creative writing class last fall, we would write in class and go around the room and share or write away from class and bring it in to share. All of the experiences ended up being pleasurable in the end (my prof was a tough critic but also a free spirit and no one in the class wanted to breathe a bad word about another's work for fear of retaliation when their turn rolled around). I got an A and wrote some pretty good stuff in the class. I thought I had gotten over my anxiety about sharing my work with others on such a large scale (if you can consider 30 people large) but it's all coming back to me now. This online class where I can't see any faces or hear any whispers and giggles, worried me more than that class ever did!

The syllabus requires that we not only post our own assignments for class critique and comments but that we comment and critique everyone else's work too! YIKES! I know that some of you are reading this and thinking, "Okay, girl . . . that's what MFAs are all about! That's what writing is all about!" and I know that, but can't a sista have her reservations? lol. Anyway, I went to the course roster and facebook'd a few (ok, all) of my classmates-- I thought it would make me feel better to put faces to names and personalize the experience. I only had a few hits which leads me to believe that the majority of them are older students. I googled my professor, listened to her reading some poetry online and read her list of accolades and impressive bio. These tasks didn't really make me feel any better, lol. But, we'll see.

Enough is Enough

Somebody once told me that if you love reading then being an english major will spoil that for you, because you'll read so much and spend so much time analyzing text that you'll forget how to love literature. Fortunately, for me, I didn't lose my love for reading (though I did slack off on my leisure reading while in school) and I was a pretty good english student. Anyway, I'm a little afraid that trying to get into these writing programs will ruin my love of writing--- I'll spend so much time critiquing and worrying about whether my poems are good enough that I'll turn against writing just because of the stress!

I don't want to compete, I want to write!

The idea of being "good enough" for an MFA program enters my mind daily, sometimes hourly depending on my stress level. After reading about other people's journeys to MFAs and MFA graduates and I start to feel second best-- I don't have the experience in workshops and writing or publishing record that some of them mention. Very many of them are older, perhaps wiser than I am-- they woke up one day and found themselves in a career that they hated and realised that their love was writing and took steps towards getting an MFA. Not very many fresh out of college folks like me with such limited exposure to the writing world-- or at least not that I've found. Have I lived enough to write good stuff? Am I dedicated enough? Well-read enough? Smart enough? Confident, creative, or cunning enough?

I am so tired of worrying!

I used to be a much more confident person (academically) before college entered my life, lol. No worries about not passing a class or doing well on an assignment-- especially when it came to writing! But, college brought on tough professors and excellent writers as my peers. And pressure, pressure, pressure!

I keep telling myself that enough is enough, it's time to take the reins of this thing-- I need to stop questioning my right to be in an MFA program or be a writer! I know what I love to do and all I'm trying to do is hone my craft like everybody else out there-- I'm not second best, I'm just different! My experiences are unique to those around me but make me no less qualified.

RIGHT?

Parental Control

2008-09-10T21:45:00.000-07:00

Quick Update:

I am officially enrolled in an online course through the UCLA Extension! Yay!

When I told my mom about it, she just said, "Okay, tell your dad about it when he gets home." Well, clearly, I've been away from home too long and I forgot the old "ask your father" trick, lol, because I approached my dad rather randomly when he got home. Knowing my Pops, I should have approached with more caution. I told him about the class and then I tried to approach the money issue with a with a tinge of humor

Me:"So, I was wondering if you could give me a scholarship for it?" *smiling*
Him: "Huh . . .What?"

and when that didn't work I tried to lay out my spiel about recs and manuscripts (but, I fear that I was being overshadowed by the Raiders game). Then, when I tried to explain the price difference between the Non-Credit and Credit versions of the course, he basically cut me off every time,

Him: "Is it transferable?"
Me: "It can be. But, it depends on the--"
Him: "Get to the point . . . it CAN be transferred to your masters program?"
Me: "Yes, it can be transferred but--"
Him:"I'm not asking all of that . . . It makes no sense to take a class that can't be transferred. I'm not paying for anything so you can have something to do for fun . . . You can go read a book."

For fun? Writing maybe fun (as is spending money) but nothing is fun about the stress I'm under! I wish I could just read a book and have all I need to get into an MFA but unfortunately that is not the case, Pops! But, for my safety and future in academia, I kept those clever quips to myself and just said yes to everything he asked me until I had secured payment, lol. And that wasn't my dad being mean . . . that was just my dad being my dad and that's why I love him.

Here We Go Again!

2008-09-04T04:59:00.000-07:00

quick note on abbr: Master of Fine Arts (MFA); Community College (CC); Creative Writing (CW)

After 4 years of high school and 4 years in college, I think it's time to finally admit something to myself that others (namely folks that were close to me during my senior years at the prep and hu) have known all along . . .

I GET STRESSED OUT QUICKLY

I'm talking at drop of a hat, in a snap, in a flash, before you can blink, faster than a speeding bullet, from 0-60 in .5 seconds, "it's a bird, it's a plane . . . no, it's Bsquared86 screaming through the halls" quickly.

But, somehow, I've always performed relatively well through the stress, no matter the source. Be it family, friends, loves, professors, employers, extracurriculars, or academia- I do what I need to do to get through it. That is until grad school started looming on the horizon of my college career-- that's when I realized that, though I may perform well under stress, it just wasn't worth it at the time. Piling the stress of trying to decide what I would do after I graduated on top of the already daunting task of ensuring that I did, indeed, graduate was just too much. So, on one fateful day in late winter (February 19, 2008 to be exact), I decided that I would take a year off between undergrad and grad school. TA DA! Stress gone. I felt freer than a blue bird, I swear! I figured that by the time application season rolled around again I'd be able to handle the stress of applications, recommendations, portfolios, manuscripts, essays, and such because I'd be at home in LA with the hassle of graduating behind me. It would be a breeze . . .

AU CONTRAIRE

It's about 5 am here in LA and I haven't been asleep yet. For folks that know me, you're probably thinking, "And? This is what you do." and you're right. Not sleeping like a regular human being IS what I do, unfortunately, I am not up simply because I am not sleepy-- I am up and

STRESSING THE HELL OUT ABOUT GRAD SCHOOL!

Granted, not as stressed as I was back in late 07 and early 08 . . . but stressed all the same. Why?

I need to get on my recommendation game, I only have 2 professors that I would like to ask for recs and I need 3 for most programs. Also, I need somebody familiar with my creative writing . . . why not just ask the only CW professor at my Alma mater, you say? Well, because he is intimidating as hell and already turned me away once for not having a good manuscript together or a substantial list of poets that I read (and I can't blame him, but DAMN!).
I don't think that my "manuscript" or "portfolio" or "whatevertheadmissionpacketwantstocallit" are up to par. I mean, some of these MFA programs only accept 2,3, maybe 4 new poetry students a year so our "samples" have to be superb to say the least. They need to see both potential and promise- potential meaning that they feel that you will do well in the program and promise meaning that they feel that you will do well after the program. And, I don't know if my little amateur poems can do all that . . . YET.

Thanks to the MFA Blog, Poets & Writers, and a host of other online resources, I have learned that I can remedy this lack of recs as well as beef up my creative sample by enrolling in Creative Writing Workshops/Courses! GREAT! The course that I really want to get into hosted by UCLA is freakin expensive for just one course so I'm enrolling in an online CW course @ a community college around my way-- it's only like 20 bucks a credit/unit so it wouldn't hurt. So, I have clearly identified my stressors and a solution, right? So, all should be well.

BUT (isn't there always a but?)

Something in my heart is telling me to beg, borrow, and steal my way into this UCLA course-- mainly because it actually focuses on poetry but also because it comes highly recommended and is widely recognized while my course at the CC is a general CW and in the end is just a course at a CC (not that I think it will be easy, b/c I am sure it will not). It costs damn near 10x the amount of the CC course and I'm nervous about asking my folks for the dough (I have to pay upfront, so no time to wait until after I get a job and can pay myself as I have planned to do with the CC class). I know that they're probably already struggling with what exactly an MFA is and why on earth I am even wasting time on becoming a writer (though I have that ambition hidden under the cleverly orchestrated guise of becoming an English professor) and now, this? An expensive writing course that doesn't really guarantee anything?

my mom gets back from Louisiana tonight, so I'm going to ask them while we munch on a tasty welcome home dinner . . . let's pray that they don't laugh in my face, lol.

::au revoir::

Narcissism

2008-08-29T06:29:00.000-07:00

I'm not really a narcissist . . honestly, i'm not . . . I promise *crossing fingers behind back but realizes that you can't see me and it's harder to type that way*

Okay . . . so, two of my favorite pass-times, aside from general lollygagging and random instances of tomfoolery, are fooling around with hair and makeup. I dedicate alot of time and energy into taking care of my hair and i waste-er um- invest alot of money in makeup.

To keep up with my journey in both realms I have a fotki photo album thingamajiggy
that can be found HERE.

Basically, I have seperated my hair Journey into two parts

One section that depicts my hair trials and triumphs during college, aptly titled It Really Was A Different World in honor of my other favorite pass time and (obsessively watching A Different World). It culminates, of course, with a series finale featuring my graduation but not before I throw in a "Very Special Episode" dedicated solely to me big chopping (hair lingo for cutting) my pressed ends off and deciding to wear my natural, glorious, amazing, nappy hair exclusively!

The next section is in the beginning stages, because it chronicles my journey to LOCDOM! Yes, friends, I am loc'ing my hair and I'm very excited. To keep with the trend of having albums related to my obsessions, I have titled this part iLoc in honor of my love of music (get it, iLoc . . . iPod? corny I know). I begin with a "Prelude" and move into my first track "I decided (That You Are The One For Me)" in honor of the hot Solange track.

The makeup looks I choose to keep neatly stored in an album entitled, I Lay my MAC down. There, I display the few looks that I actually capture in a decent picture. I'm getting a little better about taking pics and giving specs though.

There are a couple of other goodies in my fotki too-- like True Life:I'm A Product Junkie, where I list most of my hair products and tools, and Who is Bsquared86?, where I display some non-hair or makeup pics that just showcase both my digital manipulation (low level graphic design)and my muse (me).

Well, that was just a little look into some stuff that I like to do in my free time . . . which is usually ALL of my time these days, lol. Hope you enjoyed it!

::peace::

I'm back + Adventures in Lazytown

2008-08-27T00:06:00.000-07:00

Okay . . . I know . . . I know . . . I totally suck at this . . . but after a 5 month absence, I'm back! Mostly I'm back because I stumbled across a few blogs that fancied my interested and I've been posting comments on them and reading them regularly so I figured . . . why couldn't this be me?

So, if anybody is reading this . . . please thank . . .

Those That Can't Do by my good friend, Ms. Brown. She's a newbie in the blog world too, chronicling her first year as a teacher and, in my honest opinion, she's funny as hell.

mFA Weblog by a few good folks. Where, oh where was this blog when I was slowly losing my mind trying to understand Master's of Fine Arts Programs in Creative Writing last year? I'm so happy I found it.

Afrobella by a beautiful sista that loves hair, makeup, skin care, shopping, and entertainment. She's an incredible writer and apparently a force to be reckoned with in the blog world!

I read a grip (read:"a lot") of other blogs as well, but that list would take forever. These are my current faves and major inspiration right now.

Adventures in Lazytown

As I mentioned in my first post, I'm taking a year off between undergrad and grad school and though I am very happy about that decision I am starting to suffer from "busy envy." Most of my friends are doing things with their lives even if it's the same thing they've been doing for years. The point is that for the first time in my life, I'm not doing a dag on thing but living. I knew that the moment would come that I'd be watching my friends go to grad school and I'd think, "Man, I should have just went on ahead and went to whatever school accepted me!"-- I just didn't know that it would be this hard to fight these feelings of "loserdom." I have been utterly and unapologetically lazy this summer . . . but, my folks haven't complained (yet). I want to get a job but I need some wheels first (long story).

But, anyway, I did what was best for me . . . I honestly can say that I know more about where I want to go to school and what kind of MFA program I want to get into than I did back in the winter when application season was ending and deadlines were taunting me. So, I am ANXIOUSLY awaiting starting grad school in Fall 09 (or Summer 09). The only thing between me and grad school is these dag on applications! Arggh . . . essays and samples and recommendations, oh no! As a matter of fact, I need to be sending out very flattering and sincere emails to old professors now to beg them to write a few (or 15) glowing recommendations . . . *crosses fingers*

Welcome!

2008-03-09T01:11:00.000-08:00

I loved to read, I really do! But after almost 4 years of being an english major I think I've read more than most human beings. I also love to write, something that hasn't always been easy to do over the past few years due to my classworkload.

So, I'm taking a year off between undergrad and grad school (scary, I know) to figure out just what it is I want to do with my life and, most importantly, write to my hearts content. In an effort to assist in getting my writing out there I've started this blog.

This is about my 3rd time trying to blog publicly (outside of myspace). Everytime I start one, I chicken out and erase it, afraid that people won't like what they read or even care for that matter. But, as they say, 3rd times a charm.

Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention what I write. Let's see, um, I write everything and anything. I'll pretty much give every genre a shot but during this year (or so) of time before grad school I hope to explore my poetry more.

Wish Me Luck!